Sunday, December 12, 2010

Robotic Urinal: Saviour of TURD?

In the last few years we have seem many failed urinal advancements turn to piss. The people at  TURD (Transnational Urinal Research and Development) have spent over a decade trying to lure men out of their cubicles and into a more cost effective open air environment. The first major shift to the urinal format was introduced in the Vatican for market based product testing. The aim of the project was to target Christian conservatism and pipe it through the common respect held towards Nuns. The following product was implemented for a short stint Vatican-wide. 


For a brief period this project worked and they had a huge effect on overall bathroom etiquette and cleanliness. Unfortunately the products were disbanded after some Catholic nut got it into his head that it was infact mildly offensive to both Nuns and their Religion in general. So the products were zipped up and left to rot in the bowels of the Vatican. 

To respond to this issue TURD spent the next couple of decades developing products that carefully displayed humorous respect to gender objectification in a bid at making the outside world realise that they were not being offensive they were just 'having a laugh'. The following products ensued.



After the release of these products TURD turned to shit. After an internal investigation it was discovered that a senior executive falsely named R.Mutt (after an artwork by Marcel Duchamp) was taking the piss. The group has since been holding itself in, waiting for that perfect product to redeem them and they may have just found it. Integrating their urinal skills with recent technological advancements they have poured the remainder of their money into a robotic urinal. The device will not only unzip, hold and flick, but it will also anonymously record the users actions and stream them as premium live pornography. With the possibility of this huge product flow TURD may have just reached the point where they are no longer pissing in the wind.







No comments: