Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sex and the Suburbs 2: Amnesiac Nights

I decided that I want out after last week. This just got the owl’s cock hardened behind his velvet apron, ‘Why I know you hate it, but it gives me such great pleasure knowing this is how you feed your family, now come, I have your outfit picked out and your babysitters too, to make sure you stay out into twilight and not pussyfoot home to watch the end of Baywatch'.

I decided I didn’t want to be there for the whole thing so I downed a litre of Sooty, made my way proclaiming how I downed it in one go, proud and falling to my knees, they hoisted me up and well the rest I cannot remember until returning to my humble abode where several men were shouting at me to apologize and ‘how could you do such a thing in front of my sister, what the fuck is wrong with you’ and I confused and pleading my innocence through not remembering anything.


One of my babysitters recounted everything in glorious detail and to my shrieks of embarrassment , firstly I thrashed a gentleman’s bathroom after he saw blood on my forehead and invited me off the street to wash it off. Where did the blood come from? I was kicking and head butting every car along the promenade, alarms swirling to the chaotic noise it delivered. And that is not the worst of it, a shed with Christmas decorations for an upcoming children’s charity event I broke into and stole and wore and smashed in glee. Although a Christmas lights coat is pretty awesome! The Trinity guards ejected me swiftly with threats of jail. I not there, but an amnesiac scarecrow, does little heed their words. Before leaving I took a piss on your man’s leg before legging it like a downsyndrome kid toward freedom, in the form of some nightclub, where I exposed my cock and started by dry humping the babysitter’s sister’s thighs who was hired to be my escort. And here I retire in embarrassment and hope that next week I will have to no longer do these shameful exposés, but I have a sneaking suspicion this is exactly what the owls wants.  

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