Fucking Ridiculous Anime .Gif

Many thanks to Boolean Brat for drawing our attention towards this absolutely fucking ridiculous anime .gif. From all of the boys and girls at MRHP we give you a firm hearty HUH!!!

Skype & Easybit Push The Need For An Online Rapekit

EasyBits has joined with Skype to offer online gaming for the last five years, but the behaviour of its software uncannily resembles the stealth tactics of adware hawkers and other distributors of potentially harmful programs. This combined with a forever sweaty spokesman has many users in a state of fear//limbo.

Since this incident Skype has ejaculated an apology at its users, that seems more like a discardable pacification than any kind of formal apology (extract below).

The software is provided by our partner EasyBits, and is part of the Skype Extras Manager. The Extras Manager has been included in Windows releases of our software since 2006. This latest update from EasyBits included elements of their desktop games organizer in error, but it neither installs nor un-installs correctly. This update has been disabled while we work with them to correct the problems and user experience.Skype works closely with its partners to ensure that our users receive the best possible Skype experience and is working with EasyBits to ensure this issue does not happen again.

EasyBits sweaty spokesman has since been pointing his soggy digits at its update installer for what it described as "unintentional installations". It published an uninstallation utility that removes the app from users' PCs out of courtesy for sodomised users.

EasyBits GO is NOT a malware, it is a legitimate application distributed by EasyBits Media as part of our scheduled update. Unfortunately the user interface in the update installer has defects causing confusing user experience that leads to unintentional installations. EasyBits Media has confirmed this problem and currently has stopped the update process and implementing a fix. We are sorry for any inconvenience this has caused to Skype users.

EasyBits' statement rather ambiguously claims that users happily accepted their unsolicited software "gift". "Since the update, game sessions have spiked from 850,000 to 7+ million game sessions globally yesterday," it gregariously exclaimed.

Separate problems last week meant that Skype's software put the phone down on users last week. Skype produced a workaround followed by an automatic update to its software that allowed users to log in to the VoIP service. The Skype Extras Manager update that foisted the EasyBits games utility on users, whether they asked for it or not, was separate to this core functionality update.

Even so, the whole incident suggests both that Skype's pre-release testing process is not as rigorous as it ought to be and that EasyBits seems to think users might rather like software forced down their throat.

It seems like this is the way the internet might be going, so you might want to start considering having a rapekit on hand at all times, before Easybits' marvelous wizard gets his magic hands all over you. 

Rabbit That Dances Like Elvis

Elvis the rabbit was saved from neglect on www.rabbithaven.org/

Former Nazi Work Camps Now Used For Hotel Parties

A German Hotel organised prison parties in a former nazi labour camps. Now the hotel is offering "Prussian prison party package." Here is a link to the controversial hotel http://www.hotel-stadthameln.de/

According to TheLocal.de. for 62 dollers, as a guest you get a prison t-shirt, and the staff order you about with prison officer uniforms. When you initially enter, you are asked to drink a special "oral vaccine," and you the proceed to get imprisoned in special cells.

One man who is outraged that the hotel neglects to mention the Nazi history of the jail is historian Bernhard Gelderblom, who spoke of the parties as "grotesque" and says that anyone who was related to the people who were forced into labour here during the Nazi regime were "outraged and [found] it tasteless."

'Sexy' Ad Banned In India

India's Information and Broadcasting Ministry made a statement saying the ad violated India's advertising code. The Secretary General of the Advertising Standards Council of India, a voluntary industry self-regulation group, said in part defense of sexy ads “Any visual that is not likely to cause grave or widespread offense is not a cause of concern. Most of these deodorant ads are played after 11pm on TV, outside family viewing timing"

Cheese Rolling Event Goes Ahead

Despite being canceled for the second year running the cheesiest event in the world still took place. Although the weather was atrocious hundreds of people cheered on the cheese-rollers as they raced down a large hill in Gloucester, local boy Chris Anderson won three of the mens races and claimed 3, 8lb barrels of cheese. The slope of the hill had a gradient of 1:2, and was 200m long.

Suicide With An Escape Clause

"He said he wanted to jump thirty times from a first floor balcony than straight off the top of a tall building in case he decided to change his mind at any point"

Gil Scott-Heron: This Obituary Will Not Be Televised

Music lives on in strange ways, I was reminded last night of the great Marvin Gaye as a man with mental illnesses sang 'What's Going On' passing by us on a lonesome street; his voice was inflicted with the world weariness of life which sounded more like a carton of juice crushed beneath the weight of a passing car than the sweet, sensuous and powerful voice of Marvin Gaye, yet this man with a mental illness singing from his heart without censor, was more moving than any soulless cover you'll find these days, in bars or cashew nut dispensers. Gil Scott-Heron died today, his age is not important, what day he died on is not important, an obituary is just offensive. Lets take a moment to think how fleeting life seems. Now lets go listen to his music and live life!

Barcelona v Man Utd Like French Kissing A Tramp?

An influx of thousands of articles encompassing the two footballing Mammoths Man Utd and Barcelona who spar in the Champions League final set in Wembley have appeared in every corner of the media. Of course the 'How Man Utd can beat Barcelona?' question has comically populated every newspaper and football related ink station. There are precise 'to do' lists, such as mark Messi out of the game, assign Rooney to hassle the vaudeville villain Busquets. These 'paid' journalists should be sent to concentration camps for such infantile analysis that barely penetrates the intellect of a toddler. A prime culprit of this is ex manager, player and now commentator, David Pleat who wrote the subheading " Stay disciplined and keep 11 men on the pitch" as one of his 5 points to beat Barcelona, what next "Score More Goals Than Barcelona" says top football analyst? I'm sure Sir Alex Ferguson is running into the dressing room after reading that article, proclaiming, 'there is one vital thing I forgot in our last few weeks of preparation, thank god for football punditry, don't get sent off!'

Kudos to Guardian writer Barney Ronay who wrote the line "Dipping your mouth to its innards is a two-stage experience. At first contact it felt a bit like French-kissing a tramp" as he offered a parallel between fast-food burgers and Barcelona. "So, that's that then. Applewood smoked bacon, cheese, crispy onion rings: pass-pass-pass-goal. Of course, the only real – but crucial – shared attribute between the Steakhouse Angus and the Guardiola Barça is this sense of being crushed by elite engineering. A Barcelona Steakhouse would be constructed from uniformly excellent things: truffle ham, fresh Catalan spring onions and lodged between annihilatingly fine fair trade artisan bread. But perfection is no longer the challenge for the Barcelona Steakhouse. The challenge is simpler. It is more a question of finding something to get your teeth into, as a routinely Barça-steamrollered neutral. If you don't happen to already, can you really love this elegantly relentless Barcelona?" He then went onto to refer to what it must feel like to play against Barcelona "It must feel a bit like playing chess against a Terminator. You cannot rest. Barcelona can rest: they rest while they have the ball. But you: never. This is a team with players of genius, but the real power is in its all-subsuming design, the tidal surge of its parts."

Will Ferrell, a Chelsea fan will be watching the match in a telephone booth on his iphone. The assumptions of all the media who are treating the whole affair like a pre-programmed chess game, that can be won before a ball has kicked off, will be crushed if Messi decides to score a freekick which will result in the next English opponent of Barcelona having the hoards of journalists adding their expert observation of 'Do Not Give Away Freekicks To Barcelona' sold as 'expert' advice. One hopes this final will be scintillating, lets face it finals are usually drab and boring, with two teams who don't want to lose, finals are thus a cagey affair. Hopefully the technical ability and wizard school of skills of Barcelona and the 1500 years of knowledge and supernatural powers that Alex Ferguson possesses will make this final as memorable as the 2005 thriller which read more like a Hollywood script than a football match where the underdogs triumph against all the odds, this time around though there are no underdogs.

Top 4 Cat & Kitten Videos - The Fluffy Core Of The Internet

Well we all know that the internet is quite a good medium for the collection and expansion of knowledge, but when it all boils down to it cute animal videos certainly seem to be at the core of internet culture. For this reason we have decided to pick our Top 4 Cat & Kitten Videos as a nod to this cultures fluffy core. MEOW!

Shinobi 3DS - A Sign Of Good Things To Come?

Well after waiting 8 long years since the last release of a Shinobi game (UH!), Sega are finally giving us a much needed ninja injection. Lets hope that news of this game is the beginning of a trend that may see the 3DS pull out of its current software slump. The general mood in the air is that all will be revealed at this years E3, lets hope this is the case.

Worst Massacres In History

With the timely arrest of the Serbian Ratko Mladic, it's important to reflect and remember why this man was hunted down and what he was responsible for. It's also important to remember the other horrific genocides of the 20th century so as they are never repeated again. Even now the Syrian dictatorship is murdering it's civilians as they protest for freedom and civil liberties. Here is a list of the the ten worst genocides, there are many more and there have also been many more throughout the so called civilized years that humans have held on the earth. 

Mao Ze Dong- China and Tibet 49-78 million people.

Jozef Stalin- USSR- 23 million people. 

Adolf Hitler- Europe- 12 million people.

Leopold II of Belgium- Congo- 8 million people.

Hideki Tojo- Japan- 5 million people.

Ismael Enver- Armenian and Greece- 2 million people.

Pol Pot- Cambodia- 1.7 million people.

Kim Il Sung- North Korea-1.6 million people.

Menghitsu- Ethiopia- 1.5 million people. 

Yakubu Gowon- Biafra- 1 million people.

These horrific crimes should never be forgotten so that they never happen again. 

Fuck Off, I'm The Queen!

Well after a long sabbatical we have finally gotten around to posting up another random youtube video. So drink up and enjoy :-) Apologies for the lack of Nicholas Cage screaming...

Music With 1000 Pairs Of Jeans

M Jeans believe that even ill-fitting jeans have something to contribute. That's why we they asked many of their customers to send them their obsolete pairs... 

...And approached artist Andrew Huang to do something never heard before: Create a musical celebration of jeans.

Parents Decide To Keep Child Genderless

A Canadian couple have decided to keep the gender of their child a secret so that the child can choose what sex they are when they grow up. The baby who is called Storm has only had their sexual identity revealed to a number of people which include the couples two sons. Why they haven't been raised in this androgynous fashion should also be queried. Should a child be deprived of such a fundamentally important part of their identity from such a young age? How will this affect the child's relationship with peers? Will the be more prone to bullying for example? Because the child will have to choose what gender they belong to could this lead to social isolation? Ultimately, should the parents who want their child to have the right to choose their identity have the right to refuse them their gender? I believe the repercussions that this decision will have will create numerous psychological and social issues for this child later in life. What a human grows up into a fully aware, rational, cognizant and logical (for the most part) adult is a long way from the plastic-always-learning brain of an infant. Stereotyping and categorizing are an important cognitive tool. For the child's own sake let's hope they make their own realisation sooner rather than later. 

The Real Ghostbusters

When you've got a problem and there is no one else to call, who you going to call? A good idea would be to call a number that gives you a list of relevant numbers to call and then call these numbers until you get the right number. Ah forget just call the Ghostbusters!!!

Top 5 Nosebleeds/Nose Clots

Whilst trying to come up with a blog I proceeded to have a vicious nosebleed. After managing to tame this bloody beast I have finally made it back in front of the laptop. Now slightly dizzy from blood loss I think an acceptable and highly relevant blog would be on youtube's top 5 nosebleeds/nose clots. Enjoy.

The Biggest Volcanic Eruptions In History

Some of the biggest volcanic eruptions in human history have not always occurred in the typical places of interest. For some of you the eruption may even be a little closer to home. Here is a list of the the Top 5 biggest volcanic eruptions in recorded history. 

Ilopango in El Salvador had its biggest eruption in 260 AD producing more than 10 cubic kilometers of volcanic ash. 

Taupo in New Zealand, it's largest recorded eruption happened in 186. A.D. and it produced 80 cubic kilometers of volcanic ash. The pyroclastic flow traveled for up to 100 kilometers. 

This is what is left of the the volcano in Santorini in Greece, the eruption in 1470 AD produced over 10 cubic kilometers of ash but worse still it completely destroyed the Minoan civilization (along with all the minotaurs).

Kikai is a mostly submerged caldera or super-volcano off the south coast of Japan. It exploded in 4300 BC and produced 100 cubic kilometers of volcanic ash, the pyroclastic flow spread across the ocean 100km and devastated parts of southern Japan. 

Mount Mazama otherwise known as crater lake in Oregon exploded in 4650 BC producing more than 100 cubic kilometers of volcanic ash, at this time this area of America was sparsely inhabited, if such an eruption were to occur today the consequences would be disastrous. 

Lenny Bruce On The Irish

Bárrack Obáma - Mother Ireland's Lost Son Returns

Alexander McQueen VS Matthew Barney

After looking into the fashion of Alexander McQueen I have noticed that there seems to be a strange similarity between his style and the cinematic vision of Matthew Barney's Cremaster Cycle. One of the most obvious examples of this is if we are to take a look at one of Barney's recurring characters and put that alongside one of McQueen's t-shirt concepts.

Although there are obviously more high-fashion examples of this similarity, it is interesting to see how even McQueen's "highstreet" clothing has the same attention towards a bizarre piece of cloth covering a man's mouth. 

Another strange similarity is that both parties used a model called Aimee Mullins. What makes Mullins unique is that she was born with fibular hemimelia (missing fibula bones) and, as a consequence of this, had both of her legs amputated at the knee. In the case of McQueen she modelled in his London show, on a pair of hand-carved wooden prosthetic legs made from solid ash, with integral boots. The following image is of these leg-boots that where hand carved for the House of McQueen.

3 years after her controversial debut into the fashion world she appeared as a cheetah women in Barney's Cremaster 3. At this point it is obvious that Barney was the one that was highly influenced by McQueen as he had a tendency to implement the McQueen aesthetic to his work. However, rather than merely being a copycat I think that his usage of this aesthetic is a clean cut homage to McQueen and only further serves to fuel the impact his fashion has had on the world around him. 

The image above displays how Barney presentation of Aimee Mullins clearly plays homage to McQueen in the sense that he has made unique prosthetic legs that function as an extension of the cheetah/woman hybrid that he was trying to manufacture. To cap off this fleeting look at the similarities between Barney and McQueen I have sourced the following video, which gives a heads up contrast of a McQueen fashion show against clips from Barney's Cremaster Cycle. Have a look and see how you feel about the apparent aesthetic similarities.

Car Hi-jacking In Cork Airport

Do Spanish Women Melt After The Age Of 30?

Do Spanish girl's face melt after the age of 30? That's what a collection of scientists and beauty experts congregating in Brussels oldest building Vorst came to discuss. Doctor Lindberg explained to NewScientist magazine the origins of this worrying phenomena

Well I was on holidays with my family In Valencia and I noticed that as stunningly beautiful the young girls were, there was not one woman over thirty who looked nice, they all looked melted, just like the pigmentation of meltwater. This realization frightened me immensely and I knew immediately that research had to be done, so I quit my clinic to research it full time, this congregation is the first of its kind and it is a very important and pioneering discussion of this problem.

Doctor Lindberg has followed the lives of eighty Spanish women in hope to find a pattern in what is thus so far nicknamed 'Meltwater syndrome' that will someday lead to a cure. Under his arm is a large jacket of documents. Inside are various photographs, graphs and conclusions reached in his research so far. He was effusive in his praise of a team of researchers that had traveled from New York. He said of them 'They may have just found an answer that I thought, might not be possible without years of tests and intensive research projects, I cannot give them enough praise!'

The Hollywood star and Spanish actress Penélope Cruz now 37 years of age agreed to help the team of researchers from New York that everyone had acclaimed as the lynchpin of this congregations goals. Some of their experiential observations came to shed new light on the problems of Meltwater syndrome. When Penélope was in her childhood she spent 4 years in New York in a ballet school. This was to provide essential data. If a Spanish women has not spent her whole life in Spain like Penélope who is in and out of Spain when she is filming, it significantly decreased the chances of melting.

After the congregation,the conclusion insofar is for any Spanish women under the age of 30 preferably 24 or younger to increase their chances tenfold, is to leave Spain and occasinally visit it if they are to keep their looks intact. A few pharmaceutical giants are offering grants to find a medical cure for the horrific Meltwater syndrome. Above is an image of meltwater channels that are getting sucked into a seal hole and then returning to the sea. Images of meltwater help identify what is happening in a Spanish woman's face who have fully developed to phase ten, the most mature stage of Meltwater syndrome. It is a saddening syndrome and only time will tell if we are successful in finding a cure, for the moment the best advise if you are a beautiful young Spanish women is to emigrate.

Random Ted Talk Singing

Top Five Things You Shouldn't Make Your Baby Wear.

Although this outfit may look hilarious, approximately 13 babies were mistaken for poultry by elderly grandparents with failing eyesight and then dished out at family and other social gatherings.

The same problem has occurred with this costume although there have been less fatalities. 

Sex and The Suburbs 7: Madrid (Carnicero Me Como Un Condón Roto)

Condoms in the slaughterhouse, wiggling about like ringworm in a hot women's intestines. The warmth of her breast rising to a tingle in the boiling throbbing cock. The red light district was now the white light district, cum covered street. If you stray from the main streets,  ladies gave men blow jobs in the narrowest of back streets, young mischief makers threw water-balloons, wetting the tops of hot girls and embarrasing men with urine patches on their pants. These were the days of glorious excess or as my Hispanic friend  Anton would joke 'Estos fueron los días gloriosos de sexo violento.' 

Wandering down this sex crazed boulevard, part economic, part the maniacs of the world unleashed, the sweat of bodies in sodomy created a glossy finish to brown pools of mud where condoms and mutant tadpole swam about.

The statue of Lucifer's beautiful body in Madrid Park was stained in blood by 16 year old girls, who pooled their periods for the special occasion. I was lucky enough to get some splashed on me. I breathe in the full moon hungerlusthoney buttocks, caressing such beautiful creatures, as jungles sprung in the moonlit lake, as couples, unbeknown to them were watched by the black snorkelers, who were about to capsize their boat and rape and drown them at the bottom of the lake, while they whispered in their thankless vicitims cold ears 'ever been fucked by a nigger at the bottom of a lake'. When they were finished they would go back to selling drugs. How do I know so many details? Because I enrolled in project sodomy, are as it is in its original: proyecto de sodomía! Why? Because I was bored.

Tall men with shades of purple lip gloss and their cocks painted shades of burgundy, ritually stuck their painted penis' out of their shorts,  hoped to catch the passing sluts eye. The girls who knew, knew that their purple lip gloss and burgundy penis' meant they were into certain things, such as bagpiping.  If they are not sluts then they are most likely steer clear of this particular  hill, which a number of years ago was a place where people would come to sell second hand books, vinyl etcetera. Times had changed this hill. It lay only a footstep or two from the park. Some skateboards dared each other to ride down the hill without getting raped by the ravenous perverts that pollute each side all the way down without a break. It is exhausting just look at them, some with their tongues out with lizards on their shoulders, others just staring into the concrete like they had some life decisions to make. One of them cheered by the other boys, goes, the  skateboard's fragile wheels clatter, spins, his body falls to three vagrants who arre not interesting in sexing him. They simply strip him naked with the clunky movement of a tin of biscuits if a tin of biscuits had limps. They then leave the boy for the molestation of the elderly ladies that pay top doller for their position on the hill. They giglee, their eyes lighting up and pushing their wrinkles into groves that one could see from space. I can hear the boy choke and gag, when one of the women inserts her Alexander The Great sized Dildo into his small potty mouth, his eyes are welled with tears, then blood as one of the old women, with a wicked Belfast laugh, gauges his eyes out with her fingers, laughing, it seems this youth now tainted gives her old fart heart some sick joy, it kind of give me a hard on, I know it should't but it does, my penis cannot lie about its desire, its got a chord to the escatsy in my brain which is released and spreads out througout my body, sending me into seizures of joy, I feel like I could die happy at any moment in these jolts.

The surgeon prises open my shirt's buttons, gets to my chest, pounds on it, on awakening from the drugs I got from the Afreican dudes at the periphery of the park I realise I am in some kind of shelter, the man robed in white decor, leaps on me, starts beating on my chest, I cannot scream, or tell him to stop, I cannot move, my eyes see it all, but I am helpless...after a while it stops and he jizzes all over my chest, some of it leaps onto my ear, I can still feel but not move, the cum is burning near my ear drum. He then says something about not paying full prize because I didn't look 'en él lo suficiente', a man who before I did not see appears from some other part of the room, he is Indian, and he looks worried,he wipes his brow 'But do you know it is very difficult for us to procure someone of this nationality, you must not expect us to accept any less then what was agreed' He then looks into my eyes, this all feels very strange, he looks away, takes money out, pays, leaves. What now I think? will I ever be able to move again, I am resigned to my ungodly fate.

After two nights of getting buggered in every position imaginable, I start to move again, they tell me, that I must leave quickly or they will 'carnicero me como un condón roto', I guess the police or something must have caught on, they throw me out the back, I have just some very tight underwear, so tight my penis bulges, I spot a schoolgirl, I realise we are beside a school, ah the order of things, the order of things indeed. I feel so depraved, so horny, just to have sex with something pretty, for me to be having sex not getting raped,that would be good. I look at her with rapacious eyes, she hurries out of view, I wonder if she saw my bulging cock and thought about, the thought about her thinking of my bulging cock makes me harden...I go back to my apartment, the heat is penetrating my body, I masturbate furiously to the image of the scared schoolgirl, I feel like my cock is about to pop off at any second.

Motivate Me: Obesity

Bioluminescence: Aliens in the ocean

When the first bioluminescent creatures were discovered most researchers believed that the belonged to a very isolated sub-population of marine life. However, as more and more deep-sea submersibles explore the darkened depths of the ocean more and more glow in the dark fish are appearing. There are plankton, squid, fish, shrimp, jelly-fish and many other marine-organisms that have this amazing ability to produce light. You might wonder why do you need to produce light if you are a fish at the bottom of the ocean? Well some fish emit the light as part of a mating display, others like the shrimp have the capacity to emit a jet of a bioluminescent chemical that can temporarily blind a predator and give the shrimp a chance to escape. And as Edith Widder demonstrates in the Ted Talk below, some jellyfish actually use different pulses of light to communicate. To learn more watch the video below and be amazed by these alien like creatures that live at the bottom of the ocean,  

Top 8 Emo Bands of The 00's

This list takes into account consistency and how emotionally dedicated the bands are to their soundscape. The bands on this list have consistently followed their vision and made many albums of emo brilliance in the 00's. This list is also just my personal taste, which is quite disordered, but if you discover at least one new band then its worth it...They are in no particular order...

Jimmy Eat World



Say Anything



Brand New




Xiu Xiu



Taking Back Sunday



Silverstein



Thursday



Emarosa



Bands that are worthy mentions and I'm sure I am forgetting a bunch of them but sure these will do for those who want more... Panic At the Disco,Blink 182, AFI, Bright Eyes, Aiden, Dashboard Confessional, Alexisonfire, Mewithoutyou, Further Seems Forever, Sense Fail... and if we make a super band from this list they would be called "Panicking Blinking Eyes Aiden who Confesses to Alexis"

Cannes Ban Antichrist Director Lars Von Trier

In a controversial speech given to journalists at Cannes, Von Trier gave some antisemitic remarks in a rambling speech while actress Kirsten Dunst star of his latest film melancholia alongside Jewish star Charlotte Gainsbourg say by in awkward twitches.

He finished by smiling and jokingly concluding ". As for the art, I'm for Speer. Albert Speer I liked. He was also one of God's best children....Okay, I am a Nazi". The festival of Cannes released this statement

The Festival de Cannes provides artists from around the world with an exceptional forum to present their works and defend freedom of expression and creation. The Festival’s Board of Directors, which held an extraordinary meeting this Thursday 19 May 2011, profoundly regrets that this forum has been used by Lars Von Trier to express comments that are unacceptable, intolerable, and contrary to the ideals of humanity and generosity that preside over the very existence of the Festival. The Board of Directors firmly condemns these comments and declares Lars Von Trier a persona non grata at the Festival de Cannes, with effect immediately.

These comments could have an adverse affect on his career, just look at Mel Gibson's pathetic fall from Hollywood's A-list with his antisemitic ramblings. Already Von Trier's Argentine distributer has said in a statement "We clearly condemn Mr. Lars Von Trier's statements and will not support or release his film in the country,"

He has offered an apology which went like this:

"I didn't want to hurt anyone at all. Sometimes I hurt people on purpose, when there's provocation that I want to get through that has a meaning. This doesn't have a meaning. I've studied how bad the Jews have been treated in Poland and France. This is something that matters very much to me. And this was an idiotic way to behave."

A Journey Through My Recent Ear Blockage

Two days ago I decided to have a bath (apparently a remedy for a dull aching spine) and just like usual after lying in my own waste for what seemed like more than long enough I decided to wash my hair. Now typically I would just wash my hair in the shower, but when I have a bath I generally rub the shampoo/conditioner into my hair and then proceed to fully submerge myself under water. When submerged I begin rubbing my head just like you would if you were standing under the shower. To me this seems like the most convenient way to wash your hair in the bath. However, one recurring issue that I have is that because of my issue with my body generating too much ear wax, when I submerge myself it generally results in one if not both of my ears becoming completely blocked. After being told that I was an idiot for performing this submerging routine in the first place, I then escalated the scenario by listening to an old wives' tale and began pouring a load of olive oil into my right ear canal. I then went to sleep with a piece of tissue gently lying alongside my ear. 

In the morning I awoke to find that the numbed sound intake in my right ear had escalated and now I could not hear anything out of it at all. To add fuel to the fire the dull ache in my lower back had shifted into an aggravated yelp. After splurging the wrong information to a pharmacist I had to go to another pharmacy and make sure not to mention that I was hoping to fly soon and/or that it hurt. The truth is it did hurt, but this was not because it was infected, it was due to the fact that every digit on my hand had been squirming inside my ear canal over the course of the day trying to free the black notch that had formed inside my head. 

After getting my hand on some Earex I thought everything would be ok. After the first dropping session my ear felt like it was swelling from the inside out and the notch could now be felt as it pushed against the walls of my inner ear. Upon realising that my brain was almost about to squeeze out my ear I finally decided to read the instructions for the product. The final sentence informed me that for the first few applications it could cause swelling and give the illusion that the problem was getting worse. 

You will be glad to know that after maintaining a steady application for the last two days, today at 15:12 I managed to dislodge a nugget of black scum the size of a penny and with its freedom the sounds of the world have slowly begun to flood back into my ear.

So what I have I learned throughout this journey over the last three days. Well I have learnt that my method of washing my hair in the bath is apparently somewhat odd, that the ability to hear is a sense that is often disregarded in favour of the other "better" senses and finally if you dislodge a solidified wax ball out of your ear don't let your sense of smell be the first thing to greet it as it enters the world. Save the strange smelling for more interesting scent experiments.