Best Music 2011: Part 5

The Weeknd - House of Balloons


Blitz the Ambassador - Native Sun


CunninLynguists - Oneirology


Random Axe - Random Axe


Sepalcure - Sepalcure


Mika Vainio - Life (...It Eats You Up)


Thundercat - The Golden Age of the Apocalypse


Beans - End It All


Shabazz Palaces - Black Up


Boris - New Album


Kendrick Lamar - Section.80


HÅKON KORNSTAD - Symphonies in My Head


Kind Midas Sound - Without You


M83 - Hurry Up We're Dreaming


Zomby - Dedication


Black Keys - El Camino

Best Music 2011: Part 4

Kuedo - Severant


Mike Patton - The Solitude of Prime Numbers


alva noto + Ryuichi Sakamoto - Summvs


Saigon - The Greatest Story Never Told


Tom Waits - Bad As Me


Tinariwen - Tassili


Roots Manuva - 4everevolution


Amon Tobin - ISAM


Wolves In Throne Room - Celestial Lineage


Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Comittee Part 2


Ambrose Akinmusire - When The Heart Emerges Glistening


ÆTHENOR - En Form for Blå


Blink 182 - Neighborhoods

Bicycle Diary 2

UpSyndrome Book Launch

Good Evening ladies and gents,

As of literally a few moments ago we have given the all clear on the proof copy of the new book written by Jeremiah Ambrose entitled UpSyndrome. We here at MRHP don't ask a lot and yet continue to spit out frivolous garbage for all of you tiresome clickers out there. Now finally we have something that you will not only enjoy, but in the process aid an aspiring author in his journey towards becoming a strung out junky.

In support of Jeremiah we would greatly appreciate it if you gave his short story collection a chance and head over to:

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/upsyndrome/18782933?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1

This is the first of a series of books that MRHP intend on releasing in our bid to launch a publishing arm of the website.

Below is a preview of the book for those of you who are unable to just say FUCK IT and click the above link.

Enjoy and as always, stay sexy... Owlwink.

Best Music 2011: Part 3

Nils Frahm - Felt

Wolfgang Voigt - Kafkatrax

Fennesz - Seven Stars

The Necks - Mindset

Vladislav Delay - Vantaa

Africa Hi-Tech - Hitecherous

Tim Hecker - Ravendeath

Colin Stetson - New History Warfare Vol.2-Judges

Jenny Hval - Viscera

Prurient- The Bermuda Drain

Clams Casino - All I Need

Emika - Emika

Hype Williams - One Nation

The Field - Looping State of Mind

Oneohtrix Point Never - Replica

Best Music 2011: Part 2

The Wonder Years - Suburbia I've Given You All And Now I'm Nothing


Bright Eyes - The People's Key


Jonsi - We Bought the Zoo


Fireworks - Gospel


Eleanor Friedberger - Last Summer


Fleet Foxes - Helplessness


St.Vincent - Strange Mercy


Simple Plan - Get Your Heart On


Gillian Welch - The Harrow and the Harvest


The Antlers - Burst Apart


Go Radio - Lucky Street


Tv On The Radio - Nine Types of Light


Luke Roberts - Big Bells and Dime Songs


Panda Bear - Tomboy


Bon Iver - Bon Iver

Bicycle Diary 1

Best Music 2011: Part 1

Fatoumata Diawara - Fatou



Gil Scott Heron and Jamie XX -We're New Here


Junior Boys - It's All True


Bjork - Biophilia


Thurston Moore - Demolished Thoughts


Wilco - The Whole Love


MY Morning Jacket - Circuital


Feist - Metals


Icebird - Abandoned Lullaby


Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Wolfroy Goes to Town



Lykke Li - Wounded Rhymes


Atlas Sound - Parallax


Pj Harvey - Let England Shake

I Am An Ugly Person

Jake Gyllenhaal Hangs Out With Bear Grylls

Pakistan Artist Hasnat Mehmood's New Exhibiton

Three days ago Hasnat's exhibition opened at Rohtas Gallery Islamabad, Pakistan. He draws the viewer to speculate on the corporate world we live in now, the exhibition is called 'Buy one get one' a playful rendering of 'buy one get one free' embedded into the fabric of consumer culture. Tags inspired Hasnat, who said " Ever so often, I’ve seen tags for western brands, inscribed with ‘Made in Pakistan’ or ‘Made in Sri Lanka’ or boasting of some other developing country”.

Hasnat also creates replicas from the art canon such as Vincent van Gogh’s Starry Night. He explained their purpose: “on one level, the images are simply replicas of famous art pieces. But the inscriptions send out important messages” . These inscriptions that he adds to the paintings tell a story exempt from the viewer while usually viewing such highly valued art, in doing so he exposes the oppressive colonial influence and poses questions about current relations in neo-colonialism. The exhibition will continue until the 31st of December and can be visited at 11am to 7 pm, everyday except Sundays.

Happy Christmas Bitches - From Lapland

Alan Partridge Ladyboys - Should get you in the festive mood

The Man Who Slipped On The Ice: A year on, what happened?

Fat Kids Joy At Early Xmas Present

Another Awful Christmas Song

Kim Jong II Naked Having A Beer

Merry Christmas

MyRedHotPhilosophy Publishing coming to a New Year near you soon...

For anyone looking to get involved with the first book that we have chosen to publish you can find all of the relevant details that you may need in the following advertisement:

http://www.gumtree.com/p/business-services/looking-for-artists-to-help-with-illustrations-for-upsyndrome/93406913.

Keep an eye on our site as the New Year brings with it promises of multiple novels that the MyRedHotPhilsophy staff have chosen to publish.

Long live the written word. XXX

The Latest Deterioration of the Amazon Rainforest

The government officials in Brazil are planning to build a hydroelectric dam in the Amazon. It would be the third largest of its kind and wreck havoc on the Amazon, which already suffers from such treachery as deforestation. The Amazon has the most diverse ecosystem in the world-it needs to be protected at all costs, but quite the opposite has happened in the past and continues to happen. Climate changes along with deforestation at unprecedented levels are causing record droughts that threaten its very existence.

An indigenous people by the name of Kayapo who reside in regions where the dam will influence, are the mostly likely to directly suffer as the river is central to their lifestyles. During the 1990s when the Brazilian government last attempted to build a dam here, the World Bank balked at dispensing the loan due to protests on behalf of the Kayapo people by such names as Sting (played in the popular British pop band The Police). This time around less noise is touted about such preservation, and it looks likely that the dam will proceed to be built. I suppose we should all be use to this human treachery and lack of empathy as our history books are saturated in such behavior. Those who want to know more about the plight of the Amazon can check out http://www.rainforestfund.org/ founded by Sting and his wife.

25 Famous People Before They Were Famous

Top Ten Countdown: The ten worst Christmas songs

Everyday until Christmas Eve we are going to try and add an appalling (the reason for selection, might be content, it might be that the singer is awful, who knows) Christmas song. We are going to start off with John Denver's - Please Daddy (Don't get drunk this Christmas)

Norwegian Electroshock Football

Finch Brothers Survive Horrific Car Crash

Two brothers from Enniskerry, Country Wicklow on a road trip of a lifetime to Kerry, were stopped in their heels as their car toppled over from an icy patch on the bend of a small road. Cathal, the older of two brothers, had just started driving, when the atrocity struck. He spoke after the crash saying to our very own editor the Owl "I was going slow enough so I was pretty lucky in all - not sure about the car though." Somehow all he sustained were scratches, while his brother on Facebook a few hours after the tragedy posted "More importantly he got blood on my jacket !!!" He had not lost his humour,it is rumoured this will not stop them from getting to Kerry life or death.

Here is a piece Cathal wrote for us about his experience in the crash:

Without thinking, I started to climb from my car, then sat quietly behind the steering wheel. Niall turned and glanced at the bonnet of my car, clearly not recognizing the vehicle had nearly massacred us. As he raised his head he saw me through the empty windshield, sitting behind the deformed steering wheel among the dried bloodstains of his jacket. His strong eyes barely changed their focus, but one hand rose involuntarily to his cheek. He took in the damage to my car, his attention moving from the impacted radiator grille to the high-rising steering wheel in my hands. He moved away from the overturned car. What struck me again was his unusual leg-stance, the inner surface of his thighs, set in a broad pelvis, turned outwards as if exposed to the line of crashed vehicles- pity, eroticism, even a strange jealousy of his innocence. He came back as I waited on the oil-stained asphalt in front of my car. He pointed to the damaged vehicles. ‘After this sort of thing, how do people manage to look at a car, let alone drive one?’
When I made no reply he said flady, ‘Bummer man’

So You Want To Be An Arctic Geoengineer...

With global warming escalated past all estimations (which were massively faulted in the first place) and squabbling between scientists and scientists, scientists and politicians, politicians and politicians, along with general human stupidity as James Lovelock said, "I don't think we're yet evolved to the point where we're clever enough to handle a complex a situation as climate change...The inertia of humans is so huge that you can't really do anything meaningful." Nevertheless there will come calls for help, desperate plans drawn up more out of wish-fullness rather than practical coercion, and one of these will come in the form of geoengineering proposals.The words 'geoengineering' and 'global warming' mentioned in the same sentence is enough in certain quarters of the science community to let out a loud sneering guffaw with a dab of malaise. Leon would say to Larry David "LD what the fuck is that, some white ass shit?" Well according to www.answers.com it means:'(science and technology) Artificial modification of earth systems to counteract anthropogenic effects, such as increasing carbon dioxide uptake by fertilizing ocean surface waters or screening out sunlight with orbiting mirrors.' Okay so in English geoengineering is the means to change climates and any physical elements such as soils or river paths on Earth through studying and engineering them.

The absurdity of trying to control Mother Earth's body will not deter decisions made out of panic, to send up as many geoengineers they can pick into an airplane suitcase. The chances of geoengineers succeeding with our current resources, political divisions and expertise is zero. They should have been taking such actions years ago, but now at least there will be plenty of holidays for those who want to be Arctic Geoengineers, you can enjoy a hefty paycheck and a view of some animals who will soon be wiped from the face of earth, as your work will have no affect whatever so on saving the world from global warming, you can do fun experiments and just have a laugh. Or you could pull a David Attenborough on it and make your own BBC Show while your drinking your iced Martini. So want to be an Arctic Geoengineer? Of course you do.

Naked Man Fleeing High Speed Chase Caught By Police Dog

World's Oldest Matress Discovered

The picture above is of the bedding leaves encased in a plaster jacket. This mattress made of reeds and rushes estimated to be about 77,000 years old was discovered by a team of archaeologists at Sibudu Caves in South Africa. These caves were the spot where a 64 000-year-old stone arrow tipswas were uncovered not so long ago. Whats-more they found a medicinal plant that contains attributes of insect-killing chemicals, gathered from the tree Cryptocarya woodii. This must have been used as to protect the sleeping from mosquitoes and other dangerous creepy crawlies. The whole family would have slept on the well made bed, which were large enough to accommodate such a sleeping arrangement.

World's Most Expensive Paint: Royal Purple!

Tyrian purple is thought to be discovered around 1600 B.C., bizarre or wonderful depending on what kind of person you are it curiously is created from the mucus of marine mollusks, particularly the Murex seasnail. The sunlight purplefies the colour of this dye. For 1.5 grams of pure dye 12,000 shellfish are needed. This discovery among the Phoenicians sparked the beginning of the dye chemical industry. Its expensive and therefore it was only allowed to circulate among the affluent member of the community which prompted its symbolic connection with royalty, and thus its other name Royal purple. Below is a dancer at the Trinidad Carnival in 2010, with this purple on her exotic attire!

Here is the mythological story of its origin:

One day while Hercules was strolling along the shores of Phoenicia with a nymph he loved, named Tyrus, his dog, who was running beside them, came upon a Murex trunculus, with head protruding from its trumpet-like shell. The dog quickly devoured the shellfish and came away with a mouth stained brilliant purple. Enraptured by the tint, Tyrus claimed a robe of that same striking shade as the price Hercules would have to pay for her hand.

Hercules, being Hercules, was able to gather from the Mediterranean waters enough mollusks to fulfill the wish of his ladylove. Thus goes the legend of the origin of Tyrian purple. (This quote is from an article entitled: Tyrian Purple, appeared on pages 20-21 of the August/September 1960 print edition of Saudi Aramco World.)

What Is The World's Most Expensive Painting?

So what is the world's most expensive painting? No.5 1948 by Jackson Pollock, sold in 2006 for 140 million dollars. You will find two photographs of No.5 1948 below-I prefer to show it in a gallery space, to allow the viewer to appreciate its spatial personality. It is worth noting that another Jackson Pollock painting Blue Poles if sold would sell for at least 180 million dollars. Another challenger would be no doubt the Mona Lisa, in 1962 it was estimated to be worth by insurance companies 100 million dollars, taking into account inflation that would make it worth 743 million dollars today. Think of all the ipods Leonardo da Vinci could buy if he was alive today! Although I think it really would be worth billions if we take into account its cultural status that it has now achieved in our society making it priceless. In the movie 2012 starring John Cusack, the Mona Lisa is the only painting saved from the planet which is about to end in apocalypse. I couldn't help thinking throughout the film would it really matter if the Mona Lisa was destroyed with the rest of earth? Shouldn't they focus on saving human lives!?

MythBusters Fire Canon Ball Through House and Car in Dublin

Sexist Advertisement: Is It Always Illegal To Kill A Women?

Rowan Atkinson And Steven Wright Oscar Winning Short Comedy Film

Sexy Deathgraph

Creepy Japanese Toy

Coupon: The Movie

Ted Talks: Steven Pinker

Dylan Moran as a goalkeeper

The Snobby Food Critic Reviews Toblerone Almond Tart

I tremble at the indiscretion of the cake makers as I appear here today to review a food you would be more familiar with oh peasant readership. Toblerones frozen almond tart, a new ice-cream cake that from its packaging promises you quality which it just presumes the Tobelerone brand will instill into peoples sensibilities (look closely at the Toblerone brand logo, the mountains and you will find a camouflaged bear in there, a surprise dear peasant I know!) Voila it tastes like a wet sock, with crumbs of chocolate left over from a Medieval Knights feast, it tastes old and vile, like something you shouldn’t eat and you regret it immediately afterwards.

After spending the hours of daylight that dwindle like quicksand in an affluent canter to reach the trashy supermarket you probably regularly visit, the hours of my privileged and precious life as a food critic with my delicate taste buds fanned by two beautiful croissants, suddenly disturbed by an old friend struck ill, I agree to take his place, to forfeit my pleasures and put my boots to live and eat in the squalor you are accustomed to. Instead of eating the so called cake in the normal joys of my 5 star hotel or even in an allotted dining room,where your kind are not permitted, I debase myself and eat it in a peasant's gym, to absorb the correct atmosphere, yes yes I am a true professional where few are left in this profession, with that lout Gordon Ramsey and those of his ilk, with cow lips trying to pretend to be elegant gourmet men.

Anyway, this croak of crow's vomit that I have to ingest into my poor body, made frail by the arduous trip, unaccompanied by my chauffeur, retails at 5 euro, but was 2.50 euro at time of purchase in Tesco. The box deceives too, for it makes it seem a lot bigger than it is, as usually the instructions are strife with misnomers, it says as if factual, serves 6-8 people, when it should read to be more accurate, serves 2-3 people, unless by 6-8 people you mean 6-8 Sri Lankan models.

According to Bakeryinfo.co.uk " The base of the cake is covered with a layer of rich chocolate cream and smooth milk chocolate mousse, coated with chunks of Toblerone and then covered with a milk chocolate topping." They should be arrested for such lies and misinformation,the base of the cake was a runny yellowy colour and taste exactly as that I'd imagine sick would taste like. Apparently Toblerone reinterpreted the Swedish almond tarta, as we look closely at the image above you will see the brand logo of the company Daim, other than that they look identical. Interestingly Tobelrone and Daim are both under the umbrella company Kraft Foods. Kraft Foods in 2009 bought out the confectionary company Cadbury’s for a not too measly sum of 10.2 billion English pounds. Multi-national global corporations go Fuck Yourself you cannot cook, to garnish my thoughts with some of your vulgarities, stick to the homemade desserts if you want to control the quality , not some abominable wet sock stored in a warehouse and then packaged in boxes printed in California by a group of artists on acid that resemble nothing of what is insides it.

One comment on the cake from a forum was “purchased for our coffee shop disappointingly bland strongest flavour is chocolate, no sign of toblerone at all!” which matches my sentiments of dissatisfaction. Me thinks they use the brand to dupe people into buying into its frozen larvae nest, well I will now return to a proper restaurant where I belong to dine and articulate the finer things in life. If any of you are in Stockholm, feel free to join me for a drink afterwards!

For those watching their calories, here is a chart of the potential obstacles in the cake.

Servings: per 50 mg

Calories 220 Sodium 55 mg
Total Fat 13 g Potassium 0 mg
Saturated 6 g Total Carbs 22 g
Polyunsaturated 0 g Dietary Fiber 1 g
Monounsaturated 0 g Sugars 17 g
Trans 0 g Protein 5 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Vitamin A 0% Calcium 0%
Vitamin C 0% Iron 0%
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

The Quickest Way To Lose Weight

What really is the quickest way to lose weight, so many fad diets hit the internet on a daily basis. So called fitness gurus describe the perfect work out. But if you are like me and you want to lose weight fast and don't want to put it back on, this method is number one. Amputation.

The Most Discriminatory Commercial Ever

Hilarious New Nandos Advert- Last Dictator Standing

Crazy Indian Talent Show: Blood Bath

MRHP REDUX- It's Coming!!

Steve Coogan Calls Out To The Former News Of The World Editor And Gets Ignored

Ghost Mountains Discovered in Antarctica

What is a ghost mountain?I hear you ask behind your plates and cups of domestic birth. Well by ghost mountains I mean a mountain range that is hidden beneath ice. They are estimated to be as large as the Alps. Fausto Ferraccioli of the British Antarctic Survey in Cambridge, England said "These are the least understood mountain ranges on Earth...It is as exciting as exploring another planet." He added "The whole [mountain range] was encased in ice and literally preserved in the deep freeze," The image above used as a handout by the British Antarctic Survey is a 3-D image of the ghost mountains named the Gamburtsev Mountains after their discover in 1952 by Soviet geophysicist Grigoriy A. Gamburtsev.

A seven nation project that ran between 2007-2009 mapped out the subglacial topography of central East Antarctica via two Twin Otter aircraft that were befitted with super cool radar and sensors to map out the changes over time in Earth's gravitational and magnetic field. Whats more they discovered that "the East Antarctic rift system resembles one of the geological wonders of the world, the East African rift system...It provides the missing piece of the puzzle that helps explain the Gamburtsev Subglacial Mountains. The rift system was also found to contain the largest subglacial lakes in Antarctica." And if that wasn't enough Wow for your Wowsies, they are estimated to be 35 million year old, take that Granpa!. Mountains 1 Granpa 0.

Santa Claus Meets Jackass

Justin Bieber Movember Gallery

Steve Carrell Plays Some Pranks

Ivan Martin Jirous Passes Away

Ivan who was 67 years young when he passed away this Thursday was the man who held the title as the artistic director of the infamous The Plastic People of the Universe as well as being an underground writer of mainly poetry . Friends called him the "Magor" which translate roughly to "Crazy One" or "Looney". He supported social movements alongside compatriot writer and ex president Václav Havel.

In an interview he explained his motives:

The only issue was to be able to do one's own thing, music, art, totally independently of what was happening here on the official scene... But because we lived in a society where the communists controlled the entire public life, any activity that was independent was a deadly threat to them.

He spoke about his time in prison, spending no less than 5 prision sentences for his anti-communist crusades although it is important to note he was also a critic of democracy and he campaigned for the individual :

I never fought for our Czech-Moravian nation. I always fought on my own behalf. I served 8.5 years in prison for that but that’s the price you pay for pride. And I am perfectly willing to serve another 8.5 years and I absolutely don’t care what kind of regime is in power. Sincerely, I fought for myself and the fact that it had an impact on my friends and people around, who may have made some decisions under my influence, is of secondary importance.

The Plastic People band due to their resistance to the authorities, inspired free-thinking intellectual groups to create a new society outside the oppressive system, where they held private art exhibitions and other underground societies.

He was seen at a party last month were he was displeased at his medical condition which prohibited him from drinking alcohol, which he cited as his inspiration, a friend quoted him as saying "Since doctors banned me from drinking, I have stopped writing"

The Art of Eating Insects

The Perennial Plate Episode 78: Eating Insects from Daniel Klein on Vimeo.

At Least 3,500 Die In Syria, Take That 9/11ers Who Feel Sorry For Themselves

This estimate is a minimum and will rise, yet you will not find this on the front page of any Western paper, sure, who cares, they are Syrian? And of course Syrian's lives are much less than American and European lives right? This is totally normal. Okay so already more people, the majority civilians, have died than 9/11. Need I say anymore.

Okay so the politics,President Bashar al-Assad's regime is still standing after 8 months of revolt, while it seems because all foreign journalist are barred from Syria, any reports are distorted. Here are more details at http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/11/08/us-syria-idUSTRE7A62Z520111108

Happy Birthday Owl

Dancing Man Art (Scroll Down For Literal Bigness!)

Old Attenborough The King of Natural Narration

Halloween Horrors: The scariest monster of them all, LOCUST BEAR!!

Thai Secret Weapon Revealed: Want Larger Breasts Slap Them, Want A Nice Face, Slap It!

A Thai women slaps breast and gets paid in the process. This gift of slapping breasts until they are big were passed onto the natural health practitioner Khemmikka Na Songkhla by her grandmother. Her godmother found her calling when she found a flat-breasted teenager using cream to try make her breasts bigger.

How does this work? According to her by slapping the breasts skillfully, she can move excess fat toward the breasts and enlarges them by inches post-slap. She said 'If your breasts are 30 inches, for example, we will record that with your signature. After treatment, your breasts will be enlarged to 32 inches. We will record and you have to sign again.' Even as I write this it is hard to take it seriously, but the Thai government is taking it very seriously. Thai Health Ministry ministry has approved it and even gone as far to sponsor women who are will snub surgery in favour for slapping their breasts into bigness.

To learn these slapping skills, it can cost as much as $330,000! Here is a before-and-after pictures of a client in the Bangkok Post. She had four sessions, she also paid to be trained to slap her own face 'I learned face-slapping because I believe it is a one million per cent natural beauty treatment. When I saw what happened to my face, the face-slapping training course became very interesting to me.' Well what are you waiting for start slapping your face :)

Coffin City

Halloween came early for some folks from the ghastly Howth , as two coffins escaped their holding ground. They escaped thanks to the deluge of water flooding parts of Ireland. The children, grown children I should add of the Bennets, spoke about their shock, "I could not believe it when I saw pictures of the coffins online yesterday. I was devastated. As far as we were concerned, this was supposed to be my parents' final resting place." Reports say that Tim Burton will not be adapting this story into a film. Watch out for any corpses surfing in Irish floods, this is the land where Dracula came alive, you know! If only Bram Stoker got wind of this.

Bill Murray Sings And Plays Guitar

Dundrum Town Centre Flooding

Step back into the 1950s with the Sexy Scarlett Fury and her Suspenders

After a long sabbatical we are proud to start writing posts for the aesthetics category on MRHP. In the valley of our absence a 1950s starlet has appeared on the vintage fashion circuit. Currently acting as a pin-up for vintage experience brand OhSoWow. The clips associated with this post give an insight into the sexy, yet playful reappropriations of what it is to be classically feminine.

The above clip titled "The Tease" defines that which Scarlett Fury is trying to portray. Not only does it act as a window into past representations of woman, but also provides a unique sense of that which can be best portrayed as the vintage experience.

This final clip portrays a perky vintage housewife in classic 1950s dress preparing for the arrival of her darling husband from work. What these clips culminate is the OhSoWow experience day that will be launching in London from the 3rd Dec 2011. Judging from these clips, hanging out with Scarlett Fury would not only appear fun, but also would provide a unique day in which you could take a step into the past.

Timeline for Muammar Gaddafi: What Really Happened.

Feb. 15/16, 2011 - The arrest of human rights activist Fethi Tarbel starts a riot in Benghazi. Fethi confesses he also like animals as well humans, especially chinchillas, 'there just so cute' he says.

Feb. 24 - Anti-government militias take control of central coastal city of Misrata after evicting forces loyal to Gaddafi. Gaddalfi caught sucking a young boy's cock behind an old barracks.

Feb. 26 - The UN Security Council imposes sanctions on Gaddafi and his family, and refers the crackdown on rebels to the International Criminal Court. Gaddafi responds by imposing sanctions on the UN Security Council, who will not be able to text, facebook or even just chill with him on gmail.

Feb. 28 - EU governments approve sanctions against Gaddafi and his closest advisers. EU governments have a party with a official Batman cake.

March 5 - The rebel National Transitional Council (NTC) in Benghazi declares itself Libya's sole representative.They then go on to declare that there are free copies of CHE part one and two starring Bencio Del Toro for everyone.

March 17 - The UN Security Council votes to authorise a no-fly zone over Libya and military action, to protect civilians against Gaddafi's army. Gaddafi's army devise a plan to manufacture a billion paper airplanes to bypass the UN's rules.

March 19 - The first air strikes halt the advance of Gaddafi's forces on Benghazi and target Libya's air defences. Half a billion of paper airplanes are drenched by water hoses.

April 30 - A NATO missile attack on a house in Tripoli kills Gaddafi's youngest son and three grandchildren, his government says. "Boo Hoo Who cares" said the rest of the world.

June 27 - The ICC issues arrest warrants for Gaddafi, his son Saif al-Islam and intelligence chief Abdullah al-Senussi on charges of crimes against humanity. Gaddafi responds by stating that he has no humanity, therefore how can he be trialed for something he never had in the first place? It all very kafkaesque.

Aug. 21 - Rebels enter Tripoli with little resistance. Gaddafi makes audio addresses over state television calling on Libyans to fight off the rebel "rats". He also shows off his new tattoo, printed on his butt, the tattoo consists of little boys being sucked off.

Aug. 23 - The rebels overrun Gaddafi's fortified Bab al-Aziziya compound in Tripoli, trashing the symbols of his rule. They also confiscate a few copies of Beano and Dennis the Menace for the train ride home.

Aug. 29 - Gaddafi's wife, his daughter Aisha and two of his sons enter Algeria. Aisha Gaddafi gives birth in a clinic in a border town hours after crossing the frontier. They baby has two red horns on its head and a forked tail.

Sept. 1 - Libya's interim rulers meet world leaders at a conference in Paris to discuss reshaping Libya. Gaddafi, on the 42nd anniversary of his coming to power, urges his supporters to fight on. Woody Allen drops in with Owen Wilson to discuss an adaptation for the Libyan film industry for his latest film 'Midnight in Paris'.

Sept. 8 - Interim prime minister Mahmoud Jibril arrives in Tripoli on his first visit since it was taken by his forces. He has angry that someone had stolen his copy of Beano before he could finish it.

Sept. 11 - Libya starts producing oil again. Niger says Gaddafi's son Saadi has arrived there. Saddi drinks oil, mistaking it for Cola. Everyone has a good laugh about it.

Sept. 13 - Interim government chief Mustafa Abdel Jalil makes his first speech in Tripoli to a crowd of about 3 people. One of them was wearing quite a fetching bathroom hat, it has to be seen to be believed so here it is:

Sept. 15 - France's Nicolas Sarkozy and Britain's David Cameron land in Libya to a heroes' welcome by the members of a mental institute and the association of the mentally disabled,

Sept. 20 - US President Barack Obama calls for the last of Gaddafi's loyalist forces to surrender as he announces the return of the US ambassador to Tripoli. Gaddafi taunts NATO in a speech broadcast by Syrian-based Arrai television station. Gaddafi gives a politically strip tease, but this is not shown on television although the radio showed it.

Sept. 25 - The first Libyan crude oil to be shipped in months sails from the eastern port of Marsa el Hariga for Italy.The oils turns out to be Coke Cola, angry Italians throw pizzas at Libyan paper airplanes. one of the final bastions of Gaddafi loyalistsSept. 27 - NATO says Libya's interim rulers have taken full control of the country's stockpile of chemical weapons and nuclear material. They are shocked to find it is just cardboard cut outs of weapons and materials.

Oct. 12 - Government fighters capture Gaddafi's son Mo'tassim after he tried to escape Sirte. Mo'tassim appears on MTV to pimp his collection of chemical weapons.

Oct. 13 - NTC forces say they have control of the whole of Sirte except neighbourhood 'Number Two' where Gaddafi forces are surrounded. Gaddafi now cycles rather than fly in his private jet. 'Bikes are Good' he declares to a boy he is sucking off

Oct. 14 - Gunfights break out in Tripoli between Gaddafi supporters and NTC forces, the first sign of armed resistance to the new government. Then legged and headed resistance is followed by a lock-up of all limbs to prevent further conflict. They place all the limbs into a giant locker, and call it the Limb Locker

Oct. 17 - NTC forces celebrate the capture of Bani Walid by getting Chinese Take Away. A Syrian television station confirms Gaddafi's son Khamis was watching Die Hard when they killed him, the irony is killing me.

Oct. 18 - US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton arrives in Libya on an unannounced sexy visit, urges militias to unite and climb into her vagina. America rejoices.

William Shatner Sings Bohemian Rhapsody

Scientist Makes A Live Frog Magnetically Levitate

First Footage Ever Of Uncontacted Mashco-Piro Indians

Indycar Crash That KIlled Driver

A crash involving 15 cars at Las Vegas Motor Speedway killed Dan Wheldon. IndyCar is struggling to keep alive and in comparison to formula 1 is a mouse of a sport. Far from a household name Dan Wheldon although very talented, was offered 5 million dollars for this race to glamour up its falling number of attendees, for Europeans spectators the closest experience is Senna's death in May 1, 1994.

The Stupidity Of A Ban On Masks As We Approach Halloween.

In new insane measures to big up Big Brother, the Man has decided to unearth an anachronistic law that prohibits the wearing of masks. They are enabling this law to add to their list of petty excuses to violently beat and arrest innocent protesters.

In September a protest in New York resulted in the arrest of seven protesters who were perfectly peaceful and not causing any disorder in the slightest. The charges brought against them according to The Wall Street Journal include “loitering and wearing [a] mask.”

British bigot David Cameron abused the law to give more power to the already all powerful authorities. Cameron said. "On facemasks, currently [the police] can only remove these in a specific geographical location and for a limited time. So I can announce today that we are going to give the police the discretion to remove face coverings under any circumstances..."

So if I use a a filtration mask to protect myself from chemicals and pollen I am breaking the law? Perhaps they should in hindsight arrest Jim Carry for playing The Mask? Will they ban Halloween? I fuc*ing hope not, because I intend on celebrating it either way . In the video below Julian Assange of Wikileaks spoke at a protest and mentions the impediment of our rights to privacy which this ban on masks makes a mockery of. Also wear face-paint to conceal your identity and maintain your privacy. Happy protesting,

                                                                                                                                      The Mask xx

Cow Inherits 16.5m

A Uruguayan cow has inherited 16.5m dollars after the farmer that owned him died. The farmer who cannot yet be named for legal reasons bequeathed all his assets, land and personal wealth to his favorite cow. Many of the other cows might have been feeling a bit jealous but no doubt the farmers five children and wife were dumbfounded when the will was read.  The will stipulates that the cow will have a barn with central heating built for him and will be fed with only the finest oats, and is never to be milked commercially again. 

Will Ferrell Speaks German And Shoots Himself With Tranquilizer Gun

Iranian Actress Sentenced To 90 Lashes

An Iranian actress has been sentenced to 90 lashes and imprisonment for one year following her role in a film depicting artistic repression in Iran. Marzieh Vafamehr was arrested in July and sentenced last week. The film which depicts the actress not wearing a head scarf at times and with a shaved head as well as drug use was also banned. The film originally was not meant to be screened in Iran and was smuggled in illegally. 

How To Defend Yourself From A Bear

Carlo Ancelotti, once upon time successful manager at Reggiana, Parma, Juventus, Milan and Chelsea as well as having a successful playing career In Italy revealed what he learned from a recent trip to Canada;

"I met one. Do you know how you have to behave with a bear? You mustn't run because the bear is quicker than a man, nor go up a tree because the bear can climb it, nor jump into water because a bear knows how to swim. You must back away with little steps...I didn't do anything because the bear got frightened first and ran away!”

Doing It For The Bulls

Happy Sunday Girls & Fucks...

Don't tell him you have a boyfriend

Steve Jobs Commencement Speech Stanford

Life is all about living lets live more, everyone get out there today and do something you have been putting off!

RIP Steve Jobs

RIP Steve - Big love from the Owl who only recently got a good bite of the Apple.