Charlie Sheen's Roots: Undoubtedly Black!

I tumbled across the flannels of carpet shrapnel from the earthquakes that regularly invade my home after a night with Captain Morgan. Louis Theroux the documentary maker and eccentric panhandler of the weird out there in the world awkwardly yet with adept precision exposing the hypocrisy in the subjects he pursues. He poked about the extremities of the Black Nationalist Movements  and then at the time the words 'un-un-undoubtedly black' were uttered from plush, dark lips  in reply to Louis asking if William Shakespeare was black...the television fizzed out... it was one of those strange moments when you cannot explain it but it feels like fate and on flickered Charlie Sheen doing his dour routine, a poor imitation of himself on two and half men which is the most popular show in America, well done America and thank you for your integrity. This gave me a message hearing the black supremists and seeing Charlie Sheen juxtaposed together. Were they connected. They both emphasized their winniningess. So is Charlie Sheen Black? Undoubtedly black!

These lifestyle choices prove Charlie Sheen's black ancestry:

1) It is public knowledge that Charlie practices polygamy (having multiple wives) he has two women at the moment in his home. He refers to them as the goddesses. He provides for them. They both love him in return. He is a proud and honorable black man.

2) Charlie loves crack "I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear ..." Brothers in the neighbourhood also like crack. Charlie Sheen = a brother in the neightbourhood.

3) The hop-hop community embrace Charlie with an overwhelming sense of fraternity. He reciprocates  this love. P Diddy tweeted Charlie asking for Sheen’s home address because he’s been “dreamin about a party like this all my life”. To which Sheen replied: “Get dressed my man… sending the driver…!”

4) Charlie's skull matches that of a black person's skull. A team of phrenologists from Harvard have concluded this after verifying the measurements and data from previous research.