The White Stripes Conversation

The aim of the game is to have a conversation using the titles of The White Stripes songs, here we go! Try it in the garden, at a party or on the stage. It's like Beckett on skittles:

Jack-Stop Breaking Down

Meg-One More Cup Of Coffee Please

Jack-Little Cream Soda, A Boy's Best Friend!

Meg-Apple Blossom?

Jack-I Can't Wait!

Meg-I Fell In Love With A Girl.

Jack-I Think I Smell a Rat. Let's Shake Hands.

Meg-Now Mary

Jack-Sister, Do You Know My Name?

Meg-Suzy Lee?

Jack-Sugar Never Tastes so Good. I'm Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman

Meg-Jumble, Jumble. Offend in Every Way

Jack-Why Can't You Be Nicer to Me?

Meg-Who's A Big Baby? Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine

Jack-I'm Slowly Turning Into You

Meg-Hotel Yorbo

Jack-Broken Bricks?

Meg-Black Math. I can Learn.

Jack-Though I Hear You Calling, I Will Not Answer. Truth Doesn't Make a Noise

Meg-Wasting My Time, I Fought Piranhas

Jack-It's True That We Love One Another

Meg-Who's to Say In the Cold, Cold Night I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself

Jack-Take, Take, Take

Meg-I'm Bound to Pack It Up

Jack-The Same Boy You've Always Known

Meg-Effect and Cause

Have Fun Now with The White Stripes Conversation Game xx

Racism Rampant In Les Bleus

The national federation's (FFF) technical director Francois Blaquart is suspended due to a row over an alleged project to enforce racial quotas in youth academies. There is an ongoing investigation expected to be completed within 8 days. The investigation will try to find all those responsible for the absurd racial slurs against Arabs and African's playing in the national team. There were plans made to ensure that only whites would prosper in the national team and that they would do all they could to limit the development of any other players in the country's youth systems. On Thursday, French investigative website Mediapart (www.mediapart.fr), citing sources within the FFF, said Blaquart proposed to enforce racial quotas to limit the number of players of black or Arab origin in youth academies."We can mark out, in an unspoken way, a sort of quota. But it needs to remain unspoken," Blaquart was quoted as saying by Mediapart.

The independent media outlet also said that at a recent FFF meeting

the decision was made to change the criteria for players to be called up to the illustrious French youth centers. Unlike before, players will no longer solely be judged on their footballing qualities, but the FFF will also take their ethnic background into account before inviting a player to a training center

Zinedine Yazid Zidane the greatest French player of all time would be discriminated against in such plans.

Immigration will be a heated debate for the next French presidential election to be held next year

The Royal BJ

Trinity Orchestra Plays Daft Punk

Well for you Daft Punk aficionados out there we have quite the orchestral treat in store for you. Unfortunately I was not able to make this performance as I was catching a flight over to London. Thankfully the powers of the internet shine forward yet again and give unique access to this rendering of Daft Punkian classics. One particular point of merit is the blend of experimental camera angles and pov shots that make this recording that bit even more engaging. Major nod is deserved towards whoever did the cinematography for this as it is something that more orchestras should be engaging in. Now that I have splurged out this information why not watch the footage yourself and see what you think.

The Importance Of Being Wrong

Armadillo: Causing Leprosy? Don't Eat Armadillo!

We now have reason to believe that armadillo burgers or steaks are not the best option next time you peek across the face of an unsuspecting menu. A team of researchers from the Global Health Institute and Louisiana State University have done a study where they outline the connection of 33 wild armadillos known to have leprosy, and 50  human patients with leprosy. The results concluded with the discovery of a new strain of M. leprae, the 3I, which was found in 28 armadillos and 22 patients. The strain of leprosy was the same in both the humans and the armadillo. This was reified by the fact that 8 of the patients recalled having contact with armadillos, 2 in particular had ate armadillo meat.

Our conclusion is that armadillos carry a bacteria that can cause leprosy so don't eat armadillos and also Courtney Cox is cuter than an armadillo! One butcher near an area which supported a bountiful of armadillo and who regularly claimed to fellow citizens of the goodness contained in armadillo meat was interviewed about this research. In the interview such things were mentioned as the bad sanitation of eating armadillo if the possibility of contracting leprosy is a real threat, he replied to such inquiries with "I may or may not have said something resembling words but if words you be looking for then I am not a man to know what you mean', he could not tell us anymore than that? As confused as this man seemed, it should not be a surprise that he had no formal education and the cleavers looked like they were a third hand to him.

Avoid Armadillo meat, and next on the agenda is passion-fruit cheesecake, see you same time next week! You've all been wonderful. Goodnight ladies and gentlemen.

Some Odd Paintings I Stumbled Across in the Last 4-6 Mins

Looking for a reason to wind down from a days essay writing I decided it would be splendtacular to sift the internet for 4-6 mins and see what strange and random paintings I would come across. Below are my top 5:

(Above Selection in Memory of Mr. Griffin Rabbit)

A Must See TED Talk: John Hunter on the World Peace Game

If this was how I had been educated and those around me I can't help but think what social, political, philosophical and technological advances we may have already made. An inspiring insight into how educating the next generation should be approached. Todays and yesterdays autonomous generations have messed up badly, we have to teach the next generation from a very early age the mistakes of their parents and grandparents so they don't mess up to.  

And The Ugliest Animal In The World Is.....?

Borderline Art Sadism: Tattooed Pigs

Wim Delvoye is a Belgian neo-conceptual artist gaining some notoriety with the style of his art. One such project he has gotten a lot of attention over is his project on a Pig Farm in China. He tattooed death pigs as well as sedating breathing pigs too so he could dye their skin; for this artistic venture he traveled to China to avoid accusations of animal cruelty although he claims to be a vegetarian.

He has inked sculls, crosses, Louis Vuitton designs and designs connected to a pig's anatomical make-up. He has described the process of tattooing a live pig: "we sedate it, shave it and apply Vaseline to its skin." The official site of this artist, which bares more than a passing resemblance to the aesthetics of  the computer game The Sims when you enter it is http://www.wimdelvoye.be/ .

League of Ireland Fan

Well I'm not going to lie, for most of this clip I actually cannot understand what this man is saying and for the bits that are comprehensible I still don't really understand what is going on. All the same the interview reminds me of many a dart ride and boardwalk moment in Dublin and for this I think it at least deserves merit as a site of social inspection. I will not get into a discussion regarding my belief in the inherent gap in the evolutionary cycle, instead I will merely whack this into the sports category as some of you out there might understand what is going on. So I hope you can intellectually engage with this or at least have a lol or two, in the meantime please excuse me while I crack out some cans and brush up on my SCUM!

The Euthanasia Coaster

Julijonas Urbonas, a Royal College of Art PhD student (and former amusement park employee) recently drafted designs for a project he calls "The Euthanasia Coaster," a fast and fatal thrill ride designed to starve the rider's brain of oxygen and bring them swiftly to their death.

Urbonas designed this rollercoaster to give the rider complete agency over their final few moments of existence. The following is his description of the project:

"Euthanasia Coaster" is a hypothetic euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely – with elegance and euphoria – take the life of a human being. Riding the coaster's track, the rider is subjected to a series of intensive motion elements that induce various unique experiences: from euphoria to thrill, and from tunnel vision to loss of consciousness, and, eventually, death. Thanks to the marriage of the advanced cross-disciplinary research in space medicine, mechanical engineering, material technologies and, of course, gravity, the fatal journey is made pleasing, elegant and meaningful.

Celebrating the limits of the human body but also the liberation from the horizontal life, this ‘kinetic sculpture' is in fact the ultimate roller coaster: John Allen, former president of the famed Philadelphia Toboggan Company, once [said] that "the ultimate roller coaster is built when you send out twenty-four people and they all come back dead. This could be done, you know."

Obviously this only exists on paper as the world is still not ready to make euthanasia something that can be fun (if even acknowledge it at all). So for the time being we will just have to stick to the infinitely boring choice to turn off the life-support machine. 

Trendy Tornado Footage

Well after doing a little research I have come to realise that one of that one of the most trending video types doing the rounds at the moment is footage of a tornado hitting an airport in St. Louis. The following set of videos give detailed insight into what it looks like inside a large space when a tornado hits and if that is not enough for you there is always the fact that by watching the footage you are keeping with the current trends. Keeping trendy and informed is something MRHP tries to prescribe in high dosages.

You've Been Tangoed With Viagra

The funny thing about the first video is that the actor they hired to play the old man actually had a rare case of rotary penis which allowed him to pivot on it well over 360'.

This Ad was eventually banned due to imitative slapping been carried out by children in schoolyards, eventually the slap was replaced with a kiss.

A Dream Theory Of Protoconsciousness

Dream Life: An experimental memoir, is a new book by psychiatrist and dream researcher J. Allan Hobson wherein he explores his dream theory of protoconsciousness. Tiffany O'Callaghan from New Scientist interviews Hobson on his intriguing new dream theory:

Why did you choose to write an "experimental memoir"?

I think it's interesting to consider both autobiographical details and biological phenomena. Since my life's work has been of that nature, I wanted to emphasise the importance of both.

What is your dream theory of protoconsciousness?

In 2008 I was preparing a lecture and I realised I was still thinking of dreaming as an unconscious mental process, and that that was wrong. The minute I threw out the Freudian idea that dreaming is derivative of waking experience was when I could see it for what it probably is - a prediction about waking experience.

REM sleep is antecedent to waking. It occurs in utero. Now, you can't tell me that's because you're trying to get rid of infantile wishes. It means that dreaming has a developmental function. It is also something that occurs relatively late in evolution: if you don't have a thalamus and cortex, you don't have REM sleep, despite the fact that it's a brainstem function.

REM sleep is in the service of brain function that will ultimately lead to waking consciousness. My theory is that dreaming is not a replay of memory. It is a "preplay" of perception.

Why did you abandon the idea that dreaming is unconscious?

I had to ask myself, why do I say it's an unconscious mental process? The answer was because I'm still a Freudian, even though I've been trying to get over it. The philosopher Willard Quine once told me I belong to Freudians Anonymous. It's true, and it's not just me: I think everyone is addicted to Freudian misconceptions. We've got to take all of these received ideas more seriously, and then take them apart.

How did you become disillusioned with psychoanalysis?

In the first two weeks of my psychiatry residency in 1960, I thought I'd see that my doubts about psychoanalysis had been mistaken. But it was just the opposite. I was told, "There must be something wrong with you if you're asking all of these questions." My chief suggested I really believed in science. I said, "That's ridiculous. I don't believe in science; science is our defence against belief." Science is institutional scepticism. We need to ask these questions.

Yet some people still hold to psychoanalysis?

Psychoanalytic theory is popular because it's easy to understand, but I think it's wrong. I don't think dreams are caused by the release of repressed infantile wishes. There's nothing scientific about psychoanalysis, there's nothing scientific about Sigmund Freud. He didn't do a single experiment, he didn't do any direct observation, he used no controls. The guy was out to lunch.

You argue we should move toward a "science of subjectivity". What is that and what makes it worthwhile?

Subjective experience is a methodological approach to studying the brain: look, keep accurate records and then analyse them. That's how we discovered "dream bizarreness". Everyone said that dreams were bizarre, but nobody really knew what that meant. It doesn't mean you see monsters or that you can fly, but that times, places and persons change without notice in dreams. I think there are other ways this will play out when people take the science of subjectivity seriously.

Where should research into dreams go from here?

One of the main problems is in understanding the brain imaging data in terms of cellular and molecular activity - there's a big gap there.

Kitty-Cat Gun: The latest in military technology

Meet Numi - The $6400 Toilet Throne

So with the impending release of the Kohler NUMI $6400 toilet I thought I would post a link to it so you could see if you think it is worth the hefty price tag. Personally I think it is one step away from having a machine to push your sh1t out for you, but maybe this is just the old fashioned thoughts of a man from the Shanks era. Either way this toilet is due for release soon and unfortunately its target market is probably already sh1tting its pants with excitement.

Everybody Is Drinking Just To Get Drunk

Although this video is indeed quite hilarious, it really does provide a perceptive examination of the dichotomized Irish drinking culture, now there are several other sub-stratas, but the over-arching themes that umbrella the two binary drinkers, says a lot about the Irish drinking culture. 

Rubber - Are You TIRED Of The Expected?

I was shown the trailer to this film a little while ago by the Mac and it certainly stood out to me as one of the most bizarre premises for a film in a long time. The film follows Robert, a psycho-kinetic sentient murdering tire as he sets his sights on a desert town. From all reports so far the smell of burning rubber can be smelt wafting through the entire film and even the presence of Wings Hauser and some quite awesome self-guided tire effects is not enough from saving this film from being tossed in amongst the other loose cinematic "spares". At the same time the shear absurdity of the premise will probably be enough for some of you and such a film could easily be seen entering the ranks amongst many other unsuspecting recent cult favourites. The grindhouse type advertisement surrounding it makes me think of it as a spin-off movie for the possessed wheel of Tarantino's Death Proof vehicle although this time it appears to be lacking the same throttle. To move away from cheesy tire related puns why not view the trailer yourself and make your own mind up whether or not you think Rubber revs your engine. 

World Malaria Day 2011

Approximately half of the world's population is at risk of malaria. The theme of the fourth World Malaria Day - Achieving Progress and Impact - heralds the international community's renewed efforts to make progress towards zero malaria deaths by 2015.

Here is a short cartoon about treating malaria which is also inadvertently funny:

Here are 10 tips to prevent malaria courtesy of http://doctor.ndtv.com:

1. Avoid mosquito bites by wearing protective clothing over the arms and legs, using mosquito nets and screens, and insect repellents (cream, lotion, spray or vaporizer).
2. Anti-malarial drugs can be prescribed for visitors to areas where malaria is prevalent. Treatment should begin two weeks before entering the area, and continued for 4 weeks after leaving the area.
3. Sleep in rooms that are properly screened with gauze over the windows and doors. There should be no holes in the gauze and no unscreened entry points to the room. Air-conditioned rooms are good, too.
4. Wear light colours while going out afternoon as light colours are less attractive to mosquitoes.
5. Use bednets when sleeping in areas infested with mosquitoes.
6. Use insecticides and flying insect sprays to reduce the number of mosquitoes in areas where you will be spending a significant amount of time.
7. When possible, avoid camping or spending prolonged amounts of time in areas where standing water is present.
8. Keep pots and pans emptied of water. Open vessels for drinking water should be covered. Mosquitoes use areas of standing water to lay their eggs.
9. If you know you will be traveling in areas where malaria is prevalent, ask your doctor for anti-malarial drugs.
10. Pregnant women should avoid travelling to malarious regions as it increases the risk of abortion, premature birth, still-birth and maternal death.

Marines Rendition Of Britney Spears Song

This morning we may have found the only good thing to come out of the war in Afghanistan. The reason for this is a combination of arms raised thrusting and the multiple layers of irony surrounding such a performance bursting out of a battlefront. So sit back and enjoy this rendition of Britney Spears' song called Hold It Against Me.

The Paradox Of Insanity

The Paradox of Insanity from Ziad Foty on Vimeo.

5 Contemporary Subversive Artists of Guerrilla Street Art

The rising star and successor of Banky's fame on the street scene is Alexandre Farto aka Vhils. He is a Portuguese artist who creates stunning murals with unconventional methods. Imagine if Banksy scratched rather than stenciled. Vhils creates his murals by scratching away whats already on the surface of the wall, rather than adding anything to it.

Here is a portfolio of his work at http://alexandrefarto.com/

The Spanish artist SpY from Madrid transforms the everyday into something unique; with his art our perspective of our everyday surroundings are encircled, they draw attention to themselves gaining a kind of self-consciousness and forcing us to reevaluate life on these streets, all the meaning foaming up like bubbles willing to burst from its fizzy bottle of cement and plastic jungles. So take off the bottle cap and embrace this 14 meters high black silhouetted bull, the unofficial national emblem of Spain!

Art professor Javier Abarca speaks of SpY:

Around the mid-nineties SpY felt that he was outgrowing traditional graffiti as a means of expression. He soon began to play with the infinite possibilities that the surroundings offered his senses, recently freed from this narrow methodology...SpY’s pieces want to be a parenthesis in the automated inertia of the urbanite. They are pinches of intention that are hidden in a corner for those who want to let themselves be surprised. Filled with equal parts of irony and positive humor, they appear to make the passer-by smile, incite reflexion, and to favor an enlightened conscience

You can check out SpY's website at http://www.spy.org.es/

Mark Jenkins forte is in street art installations. He treats the street as a stage.

Jenkins during an interview with an art critic revealed his philosophy on street art:

There is opposition, and risk, but I think that just shows that street art is the sort of frontier where the leading edge really does have to chew through the ice. And it’s good for people to remember public space is a battleground, with the government, advertisers and artists all mixing and mashing, and even now the strange cross-pollination taking place as street artists sometimes become brands, and brands camouflaging as street art creating complex hybrids or impersonators.

You can catch more of him at his site at http://www.xmarkjenkinsx.com/ or you can head to http://tapesculpture.org/ for a tutorial on how to make casts of objects using packing tape.

Now we move onto a Belgian artist by the name of ROA who has a real taste for bringing the wilderness of nature into the hearts of urban areas. He connects the native fauna depending on what city he is working on and usually choses areas that are run down or derelict, he explains the appeal of such areas by saying:

It’s nice to paint in a restful and left behind place. It’s like an oasis between the civilization...These places have an unique character, the decay and the lost industrial activity (like the factories) offering lots of interesting situations.

Although ROA does not have an official website, this blog http://unurth.com/filter/ROA has a comprehensive amount of information and images of his work.

If there is one artist to define Street Art for the masses it is Bansky who is shrouded in mystery and bucket loads of money too. If there is one movie you see this decade, then let it be Banky's Exit Through The Giftshop. Trust me you will thank me after you watch it.

Deodorant vs Sweat - Which One Is Sexier?

So on my Easter Sunday walk morning walk down from the burnt remains of a jovial nights camping there was a particular strand of conversation that led to this blog being written. Amidst the morning tweets and hangover sodden bodies talk about the origins of deodorant wafted through the air. Well all you wing clipped birds out there you will be glad to know that the first under-arm deodorant was invented by a man called Ziryab in AL-Andalus. Stemming from this 9th century invention the first commercial deodorant called Mum was developed and patented by a U.S. inventor in 1888. Below is a 1926 version of the product.

Now, after taking the time to give a very brief insight into the long and complicated development of a product that has existed since the 9th century I would like to get back onto the forest tracks of this morning and the winding banter that accompanied them. As our queries about the origins of deodorant quickly disappeared (due to lack of internet) the conversation began to swing in the direction of performance and deodorant. We discussed how being sweaty has become synonymous with not being sexy. Even though it is a clear demarcation that you are a functioning biological machine. This made me think of the singer Christy Moore and his sweat soaked musical performances. The question is does his perfuse sweating induce a sexy sense of musical passion and desire or is it a off-putting dripfest?

According to a recent Metro UK article there is a new perfume on sale at Harvey Nichols that has been designed from the ground up to smell like a combination of blood, sweat, saliva and a dollop of semen. This strange scent is obviously trying to corner the more subversive side of the market, whilst also being aware that many of such odours are what attracts a mate.

So the next time you consider spraying some deodorant or whacking on a quick bit of roll-on why not keep in mind that sweat can be used to your advantage in the capturing of a mate, but just keep in mind that there is a fine line between having an inviting body odour and having one that smells like your skin is rotting. Over and out for now from the skin sniffing team at MRHP.

Top Five People Raised From The Dead

Okay so Jesus was raised from the dead on Easter Sunday some 2000 odd years ago, but who else has been raised from the dead. MRHP gives it's top 5 resurrectees.

Number 5
-Jan Egil Refsdahl a Norwegian fisherman who's heart stopped for 18 hours.

Number 4
-The Six Million Dollar Man

Number 3
-Charles Xavier (X-Men)

Number 2
-Bertie Ahern (little known fact he actually died and was kicked out of heaven and sent back to earth)

Number 1
-Zombies, they have to be the top resurrectees of all time

TV on the Radio's Gerard Smith Dies :(

TV on the Radio bassist Gerard Smith has died from lung cancer. The band saddened by his death has released a statement on their website:

We are very sad to announce the death of our beloved friend and bandmate, Gerard Smith, following a courageous fight against lung cancer. Gerard passed away the morning of April 20th, 2011. We will miss him terribly.

They have cancelled the first 5 dates on their new tour. They have a new album out called "Nine Types of Light" which is as masterful as the band ever was. We give you their performance on the Late Show with Letterman which blew everyone away on September 12, 2006.  R.I.P Gerard Smith.

Worlds Biggest Easter Egg

The biggest Easter egg ever made is a 1200kg egg that was made by Belgian chocolate-maker Guylian. It was made in 2005 and is on display in Sint Niklass, Belgium. To be honest its a bit much.

What Does The Easter Bunny Do On Easter Saturday?

Well he has to get the eggs from somewhere, obviously he injects the chocolate and the hen lays the egg. 

The Easter Bunny Is Dead

Now that we have the issue of that lads death over for the time being it is time we start focusing on a more serious issue. Amongst all of the hype and ritual surrounding hanging out with the J-Man, the death of the easter bunny is something that has been barely noticed by the masses. It is at this point that I would like to state that this death is more of a metaphorical one i.e. dwindling sales in the capitalist chocolate sector. So this year when you are stuffing your bloating face with discounted lindt bunnies why not take a moment and raise your chocolaty mitt in the air in memory of the good times in which the easter bunny was as fluid and as nimble as the economy that he burrowed in. Hopefully amongst the melted fragments of chocolate bunny sculptures lies a memory of better times in which we had the money to fully concede and allow our bodies to melt under the scorching heat of the American sun. 

Now if you could take the time to digest this image and then promptly turn your thoughts towards your now sun-sizzled fist. Take it down out of the air and look at it. Notice how the burnt flesh is not too different from the smell of a good old fashioned rabbit stew? Don't worry that gaping hole can and will be filled with chocolate, so relax gather your thoughts and get ready to lift that mitt once again in memory of a failed social order. To aid you in this movement I have decided to include some images of the good old days when naivety led to the popular consumption of a creature whose motives were sinister from the very start. His consumption was only concerned with the juvenile kind.