Catholic Myths About Masturbation

The catholic church, nay religion in general has a few queer things to say about a great many things. Some things to say about things that are almost irrefutable for example, Darwinian evolution and some other odd ideas about virgin births and transubstantiation. But the catholic church and Christianity in general have always had some very strange ideas about masturbation. For example, as a child many people were told that if they masturbated they would go blind, that they would get hairy palms and ultimately they would go to hell. These are all very scary things for innocent children easily manipulated by fear and threats which have constantly been enlisted throughout the history of religious dogma. St. Thomas Aquinas for example described masturbation as an 'unnatural vice' and placed it in the same category as bestiality. In fact he suggested that men who carried out this practice were in fact less manly than other men. On one catholic site a search for religion and masturbation they claimed that masturbation was essentially 'self-abuse' on par with child-abuse, this complete and utter tripe should never meet the ears of a child guilting them into sexually repressive behaviour. The site goes on to say that 'It [masturbation] lowers self-esteem and self-confidence from a lack of self-control'. There is so much nonsense about masturbation, scientific and psychological studies show that masturbation is a normal part of sexual development and no adolescent should be chastised or made to feel guilty for such behaviour. 

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'Virgin Mary' Spotted on Cliff Face by Tourist

We all know that during times of economic downturn that there is a usual trend for religious phenomena to start cropping up in conjunction with this. In most cases it is people turning their focus to religion in a manner in which allows for an escape from reality. In other instances it has also been implemented as a means of financial gain, by both the church and the individual. 

Bringing this daft mass hysteria to the surface once again is the photo that has been doing the rounds today. It portrays what looks like a hooded figure holding its arms stretched in a cradling position. The image was taken on Valentine's day by Caroline and Stephen Gray at Newquay's Beach in Cornwall. There is now speculation that this photo will spark a rush of worshippers to flock to this location in search of even a glimpse of this religious icon. The following image is the photo that has been released to the media:

As I already said this is not the first time that such interest has gathered around such an incident, nor will it be the last. For those of you sceptical of such an  apparition let this one be a reminder of the stranglehold that religion still has over society. The opium is still fresh, so on behalf of the masses why not light up and go on a journey of visions and faith, if anything the elderly will need assistance abseiling down this cliff face. On the way down don't forget:

Stray

Should we have talked about how their beliefs fall under the tattered wings of a flying cult? Should we realise that these men have been brainwashed to the point where these gusts have carried them to a realm of non compliance with reality? That night these questions where raised through the guise of the importance of the family unit. As this socially lubricated speech continued, the man twisted and turned in his seat. His stomach gurgling with the strain of excess. No wonder he comes crawling out of the rain and onto our front porch. Like a depraved dog, ravenous with the hunger, the stench of his moist bristles linger with him. His so called family place shrapnel in his dusty pockets. They allocate money for cigarettes if you smoke. The only needs that are not met are the emotional ones. Conditioned to a point where what is natural is rejected. The conversation in the household was naturally rejected and was soon followed with the man’s departure. As he left our family unit, I realised that an institution that frowns upon an aging man returning home for longer periods to visit his mother who has entered the final stages in her personal decay, is not a religious institution. It uses religion as a wall to hide behind, as a shock tactic in mass manipulation. These thoughts are what where flashing through my mind as I strained to see the dotted line on the road as I drove through the blurry lines of rain. The glowing eyes of a stray cat dragged me out of this mental flow. I suppose that the cat’s skull being crushed by my front bumper might have also had a role to play in my sudden shift in thoughts. By the time I had exited the car and reached the place where the cat had been catapulted to, its gentle twitches had turned into sporadic bursts of movement. Upon examining the situation, I decided that the prime reason for these convulsions was probably due to the fact that half of the cat’s brains were spread out across the road. Before I had a chance to produce my butter knife I heard the squelch of footsteps emerging from the distance. As they grew in number a familiar smell drifted up into my left nostril and began twisting and tugging the nostril hairs, this jungle-gym treatment leapt to the point where water began to seep from my eyes. The glistening whispers of a strained stomach transferred a name and a face to the shadowy figure. The speckled blackheads sat rigid on his sweaty brow. Masticated food fell from his yellow teeth with the quiet decadence of gentle snowfall. His patchy stubble caught onto these speckles like dry tarmac in Winter. His eyes danced deliriously, caught in the excitement of his face’s sudden change in weather. This moment lingered on for quite some time, until I eventually re-entered my car. In the rear-view mirror I could see him standing over the now stagnant cat, his worn face lay slumped to the ground. The roles of fat curled upwards from his chin hiding any determinable expression. The road ended there, he no longer had anything to chase.