Sex Boxes To Be Introduced In Switzerland

Switzerland seems to be very open when it comes to sex, judging by this billboard at a train station. To keep prostitution from the streets, the Zurich municipal authorities have devised a plan to limit prostitutes to three zones, where booths will be set up for the prostitutes and their customers to erm *cough* do business. The city council are expecting these to be implemented and come into law on Jan. 1, 2012.

The council also mentioned that they were looking into ways to advise and inform the compliant prostitutes by direct communication, with new regulations to create a form of licenses required to 'prostitute' peacefully, if that is even a transitive verb!

The construction of 10 booths are planned in Altstetten as a kind of trial run, more will be built if it is successful. The newly established Altstetten prostitution zone will be monitored and maintained by social services, plans which are already on their way for the design and creation of the sex boxes are signaled to be ready for the spring of 2012.

Wheelchair Boy Witnesses the Tyranny of the 21st Century

A young man can be seen in this footage paying to be thrown out of his wheelchair and beaten. If these men were not paid to do this, they would be in prison by now. Who pays them, we do! They get paid from our taxes. What do we get...? The archetypal bully who threatens you for your pocket money, claiming they will save you from blows and bruises and then once the money is handed over they will beat you to a pulp. Then if you talk back about your rights, they in fact threaten you further for even daring to accuse the bullies and their tyrannical authority.

So the message is kids, once you put on the blue uniform can you do what the fuck you want? You don’t have to have any cognitive skills or ethical training to be a Cop, no no, none of that, just the art of thuggery. Being a policeman has the same appeal to child molesters and malevolent men as it was to be a priest back in the heyday of Catholic oppressed Ireland; raping young boys, good wage, authority beyond question...? Ring any bells?

What was this young man in a wheel chair doing? Fighting for his rights in education and equality.  So this raises the question, are our supposedly progressive European regimes and democracies any different that Nazi Germany or Stalin’s Russia? A scientist from the depths of a laboratory in the alps bordering Switzerland has done experiments using computer date extracted from biographies, interviews and profiles of such political leaders as  David Cameron, Nicolas Sarkozy and Pope Benedict XVI. In his research he found these leaders to be worse than either Hitler or Stalin, ‘if they have any more power, god help us all’, concluded the report. The only leader who came out with any credibility was Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, who was compared with that of the personality of a well fed bear from Hamleys toy store with plenty of young girls to cuddle him.

I proclaim we reanimate Che Guevara from the passive sewn seams of t-shirt merchandise and symbolically behead these leaders in a tribute to the French Revolution. We use this anachronistic act to show history can be used to empower and not just oppress people. It can be done, if everyone fights the tyranny, if everyone uses history not to make the same mistakes as NAZI Germany and go along with the oppressive government (whom nobody wanted there in the first place) and not to hide their support for students (i.e. your children, sisters, brothers and friends) like those who turned a blind eye to the massacre and genocide of Jews, you are just as bad as them, massacring their education, changing their lives by depriving them of the education that would give them agency, instead you pay the police to systematically beat up a young man in wheelchair, nice, go you! NO not go you! Now stop the tyranny before Auschwitz 2: Return of Ignorance arrives!

SKY: Loch Ness monster captured and moved to CERN

On the 16th of November 2010 one of the worlds most fascinating mysteries was finally solved. Scientists for the first time obtained real video footage of the Loch Ness monster. A team of physicists had been testing new sonar technology when the 26 metre beast appeared on their screens. At first they assumed it was just a school of fish but its motion patterns were to localised and consistent. Below is an image of this illusive and mysterious creature captured on Tuesday morning.

Once Professor Harold Schultz of the Department of Advanced Physics and Materials in the University of Berne, Switzerland realised the significance of the image on his screen  he proceeded to run to the front of the boat. It wasn't long before the prehistoric creature emerged from the water and it's head, neck and dorsal fin could be clearly seen off the bough of the boat. The Professor new he had to act quickly if he was going to be able to capture the creature. He made a quick phone-call and requested back up. In the mean time the boat followed the creature using the new sonar which compared to conventional sonar was actually able to detect the Loch Ness monster. Thirty minutes after the Professor had called for assistance the worlds heaviest fixed-winged aircraft the Antonov An-225 arrived on hand to capture the beast.

Professor Schultz and his team fired three heat seeking harpoons and managed to pierce the creatures tough skin with only one of the darts, penetrating the creature just below it's ventral fin. The line was then fixed to a cable that descended from the Antonov and with very little struggle the creature was raised 250 metres to and loaded into a specially prepared aquatic environment in the cargo hold of the plane. The Loch Ness monster then began it's two hour flight to Switzerland. The creature has been released into the protective custody of the scientists at CERN, the worlds largest particle accelerator. The scientists are hopeful that they will have set up an experiment by the end of the month which will allow two highly charged beams of particles to race around the tunnels of CERN and collide with the Loch Ness monster. Scientists are hoping that this collision could lead to data which may successfully merge quantum theory and general relativity.

An eye witness, William McGregor described how he was taking his dogs for a walk "when I heard this great commotion coming from the Loch, it sounded like a thousand bagpipes all playing at once, and when I got to the shore of the Loch, there it was as sure as day a gigantic plane pulling the beast from the water, and within thirty seconds the plane had swallowed it in it's belly and roared off into the sky".

Mystery solved...