Clint Eastwood goes drag in his latest production.

Here I am on the set of Clint Eastwoods latest flick, directed by the legendary gaytastic John Waters. I am wetting my knickers! John and Clint will be getting plenty of rubbers for their first few drafts. 

The Oscar matador has gone to the wrong bathroom!

‘Oh no he hasn’t girl!’

‘Yes he has girlfriend, now that’s what I’m talking about, a man in drag is a man who knows how to treat a woman right !’

(Cheers from generic, ugly, dumb crowd)

‘he wearrr it like a slut’

‘Don’t you go talking that mouth off girl’

Anyway enough of the new reality TV show 'Black MIlfs' which Clint Eastwood makes a guest cameo on, what about the movie, that’s what we want to know about, right?

As I enter the set our cameras are ironically banned in the big studio where a very big camera is plonked in the middle of the floor for filming. So instead of snap snap we got a street artist with a nifty sketchpad and a killer set of pencils to sketch the man who now looks a million people away from the young man who once wore a poncho and wandered the desert looking for trouble and frazzled haired punks.

We haven't been given a name yet or a definite release date but there were exciting scenes on set today, as Clint wore a bikini with impeccable Hollywood grace, rivalling Scarlet Johansson’s recent bikini shots for phwoar factor! 

 In an interview  he exclaimed, ‘Just because I am old doesn’t mean I cant pull off this kind of role, my good friend Dustin Hoffman, you know he did a similar part in Tootsie, he gave me some pointers’.

The image of Dustin Hoffman and Clint Eastwood discussing whether to go with a Versace or a Valentino is just sooooooooooo  adorableeeeeeeeeeee andddd cuteeeeeeeeeee. I will be at the front of the queue for this when it is out with my dear granny and grandpa!  Let's hope Clint can put a show on in high-heels without tripping up! With 'Gran Torino'  He's proven he still has the voice but has he got the legs! 

Benicio Del Toro Makes Out With R-Patz Backstage @ P-Diddy Concert

Masculine prowess, dangerous sex, rambunctious furrytongue fusillade.

All these words describe the sexy powers of Benicio Del Toro. He has starred in The Wolf Man, Che, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Traffic, 21 Grams, Sin City and more importantly he is the rough, erotic meat truck starring in the masturbatory rites of our daily lives. Yet my slim fingers cannot replace his chunky, hairy, Puerto Rican chocolate fingers shovelling into my erogenous zones with fiery oomph, ‘oh behave!’

One scene with Scarlett Johansson taking place not in the celluloid stages that he makes a living from, but in reality, finds Benicio turning towards Scarlet without caution. His eyes glimmering in the elevator, the metallic surfaces shivering as he moves his body toward her, takes her, takes her again and then finally releases her from his hands with her arms trembling and her heart racing faster than a rocket, his eyes sauntering locked into her star fallen gaze. Scarlet is melting, orgasms rupture through her body with beanstalk valour. In an interview with Esquire magazine Del Toro plays coy to his seductive animal instincts.

"Did I ever have sex in an elevator with Scarlett Johansson after an awards show? I kind of like, you know, I, well. I don't know. Let's leave that to somebody's imagination. Let's not promote it. I'm sure it has happened before. It might not be the last time either."

Benicio regularly and nonchalantly picks up on the lustful calls of Hollywood starlets. Not that you would know it by his ‘Get out of here, how could anyone find me attractive’ attitude, as he lops gasoline on his hair and struts out of the billowing Gurkha Black Dragon smoke.

After his latest fling with Twilight star Robert Pattinson backstage at a P Diddy concert, Magnum executives who sponsored the concert took the opportunity to take Benicio as a worldwide campaign for making their ice-cream brand ‘sexy’. Here is their vision realised in the lavish production directed by Bryan Singer (X-Men, The Usual Suspects ).