Ian Holloway's Funny As A Football Shaped Clown Quotes

Reporter: How would you describe the win over Chesterfield?
Holloway: To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best.

'Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee.

'I don't see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal. They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose that’s one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they'd have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.'
On the rule restricting footballers from removing their shirts during a match

Reporter: How’s Aljofree’s injury?
Holloway: Hasney's bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now.

'If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.'

Holloway's attacking strategy gets an airing.
'I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb.'

'We might as well go back to being cavemen, grab our girl by the hair, drag her into the cave whether she wants to come in or not because we may as well live in that age. We've come forward, haven't we?
Blackpool boss Ian Holloway makes the case for video technology.

'It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.'

Holloway's opinion of an assistant's performance.
'I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season.'
Holloway after QPR beat Cardiff

Holloway on veteran striker Paul Furlong 'Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.'

Holloway after Joey Barton mooned Everton fans 'It was a bit cheeky wasn’t it? But I don’t think it was that bad. It would have been worse if he’d turned round and dropped the front of his shorts instead. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a couple of butt cheeks personally. (…) If anybody’s offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they’re just jealous that he’s got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything.'

Holloway talks about QPR's finances 'It’s like the film Men in Black. I walk around in a black suit, white shirt and black tie where I’ve had to flash my white light every now and again to erase some memories, but I feel we’ve got hold of the galaxy now. It’s in our hands.'

Holloway talks about Cristiano Ronaldo 'He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.”

The Twitter Craze: Rooney Gets Hair Transplant

Here is a picture that Rooney posted on twitter of his hair transplant. Alex Ferguson cannot understand the phenomena and relationship between celebrities and their fans on twitter. He said "I don't know why anybody can be bothered with that kind of stuff. How do you find the time to do that? There are a million things you can do in your life without that. Get yourself down to the library and read a book. Seriously." Although I doubt if any footballers knows what a library is...

Rooney was turned on to Twitter by teammate Ferdinand who has over a million followers and tweeted just two hours ago 'Having a BBQ tonight....inspired!! build a bonfire build a bonfire... #oooff!'

Deputy editor of Men's Health magazine said on Rooney going public about his hair transplant "The implication is that it's a vanity thing...I think it was admirable that he was so upfront. It is worse having had something obvious done, but trying to pretend nothing has happened.

It is an ironic twist that the same site (twitter) that revealed the women that got team mate Ryan Gigg's in trouble for adultery, is the same site that Rooney decides to announce what he feels is important information about his personal life. No doubt the opportunity to bypass the media and present a celebrities image is one too tempting for them to pass up and lucrative too as Martin Sheen found out. The Huffington Post reports Sheen will earn a mouthwatering $1 million this year from Twitter endorsements

Twitter appeals to fans as it gives them the illusion that they are hanging out with the lads, and no wonder when Ferdinand pokes fun at his friend Rooney just like they are hanging out at a sausage fest BBQ when he posts "Can't wait to see you in the mirror after training styling your locks with loads a products ala ronaldo!"

Shakira Banned From Madrid For Making Love To Barcelona Player

Before the men in white, an elite football troupe roam onto the pitch, with their multi millionaire sun tans, hair styles and pouted lips fronted by Christiano Ronaldo, all 94 million euro of him! Shakira's music usually can be heard echoing around the home of Madrid pride, The Estadio Santiago Bernabéu.

This is about to about to change due to her new romance with Barcelona defender Gerard Pique whom on twitter she called "my sunshine" much to the chagrin of Madrid fans. Her song Waka-Waka was the official World Cup 2010 song which of course Spain won and Madrid play over and over at the beginning and at half time of matches to celebrate that historic national win, so here is the song, don't forget to cover your ears with your hands if you are a Madrid fan,as the love making of Shakira and Catalonian Pique is matted through the notes.