Quotes that Changed The World: Socrates

"The unexamined life is not worth living." 
— Socrates

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher." 
— Socrates

"Prefer knowledge to wealth, for the one is transitory, the other perpetual" 
— Socrates

"And therefore if the head and the body are to be well, you must begin by curing the soul; that is the first and essential thing. And the care of the soul, my dear youth, has to be effected by the use of certain charms, and these charms are fair words; and by them temperance is implanted in the soul, and where temperance comes and stays, there health is speedily imparted, not only to the head, but to the whole body." 
— Socrates 

If Happiness Were a Hat

Like many of you I have strolled through many a department store. You may have noticed that when meandering  through the hat section, a cloud of happiness and joy taints your vision and before you know it, you are gooning about with your companion trying on a selection of hatty all-sorts. The toffy-nosed chortling of the elderly ladies trying on hats next to you cause you to chuckle and gall and without warning you’re all fanning about with more and more hats and indulging in the millinery delights. But lo! Be warned I have discovered why hats make us feel so unexpectedly happy!

They have all been fitted with the following device that delivers extreme pain to the frowning model. Upon each dosage of pain a smile quickly ensues to prevent further pain caused by the frowning facial muscles. However since its creation in 2009, the Happiness Hat has undergone further modifications to supply pain on a less crude, more subconscious level and has subsequently been fitted to every at ever made! So next time you’re with your friends trying on hats, just ask yourself the question, why are we all so happy?