Les Paul's Birthday

As you might notice by Google searches not so subtle hints, that it is Les Paul's birthday today! Not only is he one of the world's best guitar players, he is also the pioneer of the one of the world's best guitars in The Gibson Les Paul which inspires awe in all those that touch its body as Eric Clapton can testify, sometimes letting out a simultaneous orgasm on stage with the guitar. So to celebrate, we are going to take a bottle of Southern Comfort out on the road, tie some battery powered amps to the roof of a car, travel down some narrow back roads where people may have never heard a electric guitar before, and turn the amps up full volume! Here is a documentary about the great man.

Sex and the Suburbs 2: Amnesiac Nights

I decided that I want out after last week. This just got the owl’s cock hardened behind his velvet apron, ‘Why I know you hate it, but it gives me such great pleasure knowing this is how you feed your family, now come, I have your outfit picked out and your babysitters too, to make sure you stay out into twilight and not pussyfoot home to watch the end of Baywatch'.

I decided I didn’t want to be there for the whole thing so I downed a litre of Sooty, made my way proclaiming how I downed it in one go, proud and falling to my knees, they hoisted me up and well the rest I cannot remember until returning to my humble abode where several men were shouting at me to apologize and ‘how could you do such a thing in front of my sister, what the fuck is wrong with you’ and I confused and pleading my innocence through not remembering anything.

One of my babysitters recounted everything in glorious detail and to my shrieks of embarrassment , firstly I thrashed a gentleman’s bathroom after he saw blood on my forehead and invited me off the street to wash it off. Where did the blood come from? I was kicking and head butting every car along the promenade, alarms swirling to the chaotic noise it delivered. And that is not the worst of it, a shed with Christmas decorations for an upcoming children’s charity event I broke into and stole and wore and smashed in glee. Although a Christmas lights coat is pretty awesome! The Trinity guards ejected me swiftly with threats of jail. I not there, but an amnesiac scarecrow, does little heed their words. Before leaving I took a piss on your man’s leg before legging it like a downsyndrome kid toward freedom, in the form of some nightclub, where I exposed my cock and started by dry humping the babysitter’s sister’s thighs who was hired to be my escort. And here I retire in embarrassment and hope that next week I will have to no longer do these shameful exposés, but I have a sneaking suspicion this is exactly what the owls wants.