Some Irish Cuisine

With the big day coming up tomorrow and many of you already starting your celebrations we thought it would be nice to feature some traditional Irish food recipes. Each of these videos have been hand picked for their demonstrations on constructing Irish cuisine, but also for their embedded stereotyping that we have grown to love and particularly live out through our drunken behaviour every Paddy's day.

First up is a recipe for Irish stew. As you lap up this demonstration remember to leave plenty of room for the "Irishy" music that lingers throughout.

Next up we have the classic bacon and cabbage dish, that to this day continues to keep Irish sodium counts well above the EU average. A regular favourite of the elderly and one of those meals that keeps so well that many of its consumers have difficulty discarding, even if the cabbage and the bacon have merged into some strange gut wrenching mush. A possible insight into the iron stomached pensioners that still wander the streets.

Next up we have Conan O'Brien and Martha Stewart giving some much needed attention to the hangover soaking Irish breakfast. For many of you this is a ritual that is closely associated with getting fucked up the night previous. Either way it tastes amazing and the stomach pains that generally follow are an exquisite reminder of the meal that you have just enjoyed. 

With this breakfast blood bath exposed it is time for us to start preparing for the big day with a bottle of vodka and a block of cheese. X

The Art of Telling a Good Story

This Paddy's day when your down at the local shebeen why not regale the lads and lassies with a fitting yarn about the old country or perhaps about St. Patrick himself. Eamon Kelly explains the art of good story telling in this video and also how to enjoy a cup of tea. 

Lucy goes home for Paddy's Day.

Lucy: She goes home, on a certain bus. Home for Paddy's Day. I could get her to guide you but no touching...

She is 17 years old,she has peanut butter coloured hair and eyes. It is her birthday this month...she has a brother called Jacob, he is not a very nice person or place. He is snide. Snide like an asshole with his balls on fire. She once had a discussion about water balloons with him:

-Littler ones are better because they bounce more,

-No bigger once are better because they burst better...

If you are in Boris Karloff, look out for Lucy, maybe even say 'hi' or 'hey there'....She dropped some tobacco while trying to juggle it into the joint then said:

-I can't put it in...

-That's what she said

I said...

Green Drinks For Paddy's Day

It's almost Paddy's day again and for those of you who are planning on celebrating it with the usual alcoholic bang MRHP has compiled a list of green alcoholic drinks for you to get locked on. Some of the drinks have been tried personally but some of them, who knows what they taste like? Okay here we go.

The easiest and probably the safest is green beer, all you need is a light coloured beer, add a few drops of green food colouring. BAMMM!!!

Apple Martini, green apple schnapps, vodka, ratio 1:1.5, shake with ice and strain into a martini glass. DONE!!! Fucking Delicious!!

Green Goblin, one part peach schnapps, one part vodka, one part coconut rum, and one part green apple schnapps, mix shake serve. HAMMERED!!!!

Caruso, one part dry vermouth, one part gin and then a splash of mint liquor, mix and serve. GETTING FUCKED UP TONIGHT!!!

Finally, although there are others, the final recommendation is to just drink a bottle of green absinthe and it surely will be a Paddy's day that you will most definitely forget. 

Always drink responsibly. DIAGEO

Green River.

As part of a more than thousand year old Chicago tradition, the folks in charge of the Chicago River dye it GREEN for Paddy's Day. If you speak chemicals, They use fluorescein.

Did St. Patrick Have A Snake Fetish

St. Patrick or Palladius as some people liked to call him was a queer old man. Much mystery surrounds the legend and mysticism associated with arguably the worlds most renowned saint. The story goes that St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland, however, fossil records have shown that post-glacial Ireland had no snakes, so that begs the question what exactly did he drive out of Ireland. Some historians maintain that the snakes or serpents were in fact a metaphor for the druids that lived the breadth of the country, perhaps St. Patrick used his long shaft to drive all the druids out of Ireland. One thing is for sure St. Patrick had a major snake fetish, in the picture above there is definitely a reciprocal exchange between St. Patrick and the snakes, sharing some sort of intimate moment. So the the situation begs further exploration, did we impose this fetish on St. Patrick or is their a wriggle of truth to the matter. 

So while you struggle with the S-dimension (snake-D) over the next few days spare a thought for the victims, snakes aren't actually that bad in fact had there been no snakes we wouldn't eat apples, had there been more snakes there probably would have been less rats and less black death, and whilst the potatoes died we could have eaten snakes here in Ireland. So enjoy your Paddy's day this year but raise a drink to the snakes a great bunch of lads!!