Pink Slime or Ammonium Hydroxide Beef!

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Plan B-Ted Talk

Paddy's Day Special: How To Drink Alcohol in Public Without Getting Caught

1) You know those non-alcoholic beers, lame I know, and you thought why would anyone buy that? Well you will be buying it as a decoy-it will camouflage your lovely alcohol-full beer!  If you are a kleptomaniac you could nab the label and not the whole beer because all you need is the label. Make sure you bring some kind of adhesive with you too, to make it stick to your real alcoholic drink bottle! If any figure of authority stops you, all you have to do is point to the label and say "Yup dog its non-alcoholic now bother someone else."

2) Who thought a sitcom could be useful for real life stuff? Well Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia have offered millions the chance to enjoy wine with all the grace of drinking a can of coke. Don't stop there, you can put  in vodka, home-made gin, whatever tickles your fancy and no one will be the wiser. All you need is an empty can of coke and then you pour your wine into it. WINE IN A CAN BITCHES!

3) Hip-Flask! The name of this game is stealth which gets increasingly more difficult as you get drunker, but sure if you get caught who cares, you've reached your aim of getting fucking locked! Fuck yeah kiss my shiny hip-flask pigs!

4) This is one for those that like a risk and are not afraid of ridicule. My friend did this at Electronic Picnic to smuggle his cheap Tesco wine in a carton passed the bouncers. He disrobed the carton until it was reduced to a silver bag of wine, the silver bag is the linen in the carton, when you pull it out of the carton the wine is preserved in a silver bag. He stuffed the bag of wine into his crotch and just walked right on in. And it worked although it looked like his balls had some sort of growth disorder.

5) Final tip, if you are desperate and fancy yourself as a bit of a thespian give this a shot. When an officer of the law confronts you about your blatantly drinking alcohol in public, feign that you are handicapped and they will feel embarrassed and leave you alone. Larry David has successful used this technique as we see in the video above.

As Tony Charleston would say "Get Fucking Locked Man It's Fucking Class". Happy Planning for Paddy's Day from everyone at MRHP!

Sexy Dolphin Ride

Tony Charleston's Scumbag Storytales - Episode 2: Salt and Vinegar

Tony discusses with us about his Salt and Vinegar philosophy.

Bizarre Player Unveilment

German President Christian Wulff Quits

German President Christian Wulff announced his resignation over a scandal of a home loan he accepted whilst he was a premier at Lower Saxony. It is perceived by the German press to be the worse domestic political crisis in post-war Germany. His alley Chancellor Angela Merkel said that he had "decided to make a step back and put the interests of the general public to the fore".

So more on the scandal-in December the Bild newspaper published the condemning story, that Wulff received a loan of 500,000 euro from the wife of an affluent business man in October 2008.  Later in Lower Saxony's parliament he denied having any dealings with the business man or his wife. It is then reported that he tried to force the Bild not to break the career killing story which when later under the pressure of the courts he had to issue an apology to Bild cheif edirot Kai Diekmann for his aggressive phone calls.

Latest Fashion From Paris

02/16/2012 FASHION by france24english

Shortlist For Romantic Novel Awards

Contemporary Romantic Novel

It Started with a Kiss by Miranda Dickinson
Summer of Love by Katie Fforde
The Untied Kingdom by Kate Johnson
To the Moon and Back by Jill Mansell
Chances by Freya North
Christmas at Tiffany's by Karen Swan

Epic Romantic Novel

Jubilate by Michael Arditti
That Liverpool Girl by Ruth Hamilton
The Lantern by Deborah Lawrenson
The Kashmir Shawl by Rosie Thomas
Crimson China by Betsy Tobin

Historical Romantic Novel

Highland Storms by Christina Courtenay
The Noble Assassin by Christie Dickason
Daughter of Siena by Marina Foriato
Perhaps Tomorrow by Jean Fullerton
A Gathering Storm by Rachel Hore

Romantic Comedy Novel

The Look of Love by Judy Astley
Please Don't Stop the Music by Jane Lovering
Wrapped up in You by Carole Matthews
Who's Afraid of Mr Wolfe by Hazel Osmond
Lizzy Harrison Loses Control by Pippa Wright

Young Adult Romantic Novel

Artichoke Hearts by Sita Brahmachari
Dark Ride by Caroline Green
My So-called Phantom Lovelife by Tamsyn Murray
Angel Fire by LA Weatherley

Tony Charleston's Scumbag Storytales - Episode 1: Getting Stuck In

Our new resident wannabe scumbag is clearly taking care of business in this video. Give him an old like to let him know that you would like to see more. X

Impossible Photography

What Does 100,000-Year-Old Seagrass Look LIke?

This archaic seagrass' or underwater meadows are called Posidonja oceanica and live in the Mediterranean. What is their secret to a long-life? According to Professor Carlos Duarte, the director of the Oceans Institute, Withthrop, " Clonal organisms have an extraordinary capacity to transmit only highly competent genomes through generation, with potentially no end" although now climate change is threatening their being. Duarte adds " Indeed, the ancient meadows [...] are declining at a rate several hundred-fold faster than the rate over which they spread when forming, a situation that this slow growing, long lived species is capable of recovering from." This will have consequences to all of earth as these meadows are essential to coastal ecosystems. Replanting these meadows has proved unsuccessful thus so far,so they face a struggle we will share with them in the decades to come. 

For those who want to know more about seagrass here is a variety of helpful links:

http://teamseagrass.blogspot.com

http://www.seagrasswatch.org/Singapore.html

http://thesilvercane.blogspot.com

http://myfwc.com/research/habitat/seagrasses/information/learn/

http://pigcos.soest.hawaii.edu/piccp/joomla/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=61&Itemid=66

Jackson Pollock's Corpse 100 Years Old Today

The man the media liked to call "Jack the Dripper", changed art for good or bad without really trying, as he shrugged his burly shoulders and retreated into his laboratory of paints for their carnivorous awakening on the pithy canvas'.

 

Is the Legalization of Drugs in Portugal a Success?

In 2001 the Portuguese government became the first country to decriminalize drugs- now this does not mean shops can sale drugs, or drug dealers can register themselves as legal businesses-no- this means anyone caught in possession of certain quantity of drugs (less then a ten day supply) for personal use does not have to go to prison and have their reputation malhawked, rather they are forced to meet and be evaluated by a social worker, a psychiatrist, and an attorney who outline reasonable actions to help the drug user if they indeed need help at all.

It reminds me of an episode of The Wire, where an audacious district commander, Major Howard "Bunny" Colvin sick of the failing methods used in squalid neighborhoods in fighting the criminal drug hierarchy sets up Hamsterdam, where he copies the methods of Amsterdam and proposes that as long as drug dealers agree to stay off other streets other than the street allocated they can go about their business. It is interesting to note contrary to common belief marijuana has never been legal in the Netherlands, rather they consciously turned a blind eye to enforcing the law against shops which provided marijuana to customers.

 So why did Portugal break way from the general, conservative European drug policies?  The reason why Portugal enacted such radical laws was that it had the worse drug use in all of the European Union, so they felt a different approach was needed and urgently. João Goulão the president of the Institute on Drugs and Drug Addiction said " we were out of options". Portugal had the highest AIDS caused by dirty syringes deaths than anywhere else in the European Union in 1999.

So has it paid off?The statistics say yes, their are vast improvements. Portugal nowadays finds itself with the lowest rate of marijuana users in Europe, America has roughly 450% more marijuana users and hilariously they have the most stringent laws in the entire world for drug use, America Fail! Since the new laws were introduced, drug use and drug-related deaths have fallen along with the bonus of a rise in those seeking treatment for drug addiction due to the fact that they are no longer afraid of criminal prosecution for seeking such help to their drug problems. There has also been more success in catching those higher up the chain of organized drug-related crime. Glenn Greenwald who worked for the Cato Institute on researching the results of the new laws said “judging by every metric, drug decriminalization in Portugal has been a resounding success. It has enabled the Portuguese government to manage and control the drug problem far better than virtually every other Western country."

Anthony Hopkin's Song From The 1980s

Smoking Pipes Banned! Unless You Are A Dalmatian

The land that has given us dalmatians, has disgracefully banned the lovable pipe, which Rene Magritte refuted the existence of with his painting entitled "This is not a pipe". Now there will be no "This is not a pipe"s at all in Croatia!This sign was spotted off the coast of Dubrovnick. Funnily enough you are allowed to smoke in train carriages, pubs and restaurant but not in the open air of parks! There is loophole in the legislation we here at MRHP have researched and found to be an effective solution. Dalmatians are allowed to smoke pipes in parks, so pop on a dalmatian costume and you are ready to go! 

We here at MRHP will appreciate our rights to smoke in parks by ambulating to our neighborhood park, nestled in-between ugly houses and having a few puffs of liberation. Ah the sweet smell of billowing smoke freedom!

Dinosaurs Eating!

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Some Bicycle Diaries 4 Ya!!!

Better late than never baby. Expect more juices from the auld bike journeys shortly. XXX

UEFA.com Team of the Year 2011

Goalkeeper: Iker Casillas (Real Madrid & Spain)

Right-back: Daniel Alves (Barcelona)

Centre-back: Gerard Pique (Barcelona & Spain)

Centre-back: Thiago Silva (AC Milan)

Left-back: Marcelo (Real Madrid)

Right midfield: Arjen Robben (Bayern Munich & Nertherlands)

Centre midfield: Xavi Hernández (Barcelona & Spain)

Attacking midfield: Andres Iniesta(Barcelona & Spain)

Left midfield: Gareth Bale (Tottenham Hotspur & Wales)

Forward: Lionel Messi (Barcelona)

Forward: Cristiano Ronaldo (Real Madrid CF & Portugal).

Coach: Josep Guardiola (Barcelona)

Tasered Soldier Screams Like A Little Girl

Tattoo Star

Indian Man Scalped By Leopard (WARNING Graphic Images)

Dave Eggers Creates The Literary Shower Curtain

Dave Eggers author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and You Shall Know Our Velocity as well as working on the script for Spike Jonze's The Wild Things has created a literary shower curtain. Dave Eggers writes appropriately from the point of view of the shower curtain. It currently costs 65$ from the literary quarterly The Thing whom publishes stories printed on all sorts of things where you would not expect to find it! Anyone interested in purchase, go here http://www.thethingquarterly.com/quarterly/issue-16-dave-eggers.html

A Simple Request

We give a lot at MRHP and rarely do we ask our readers to give back. In support of our recent book launch we would very much appreciate it if you could like and spread the word of our FB fanpage for the book. If you are feeling even more generous why not go absolutely fucking insane and purchase a copy. You will not regret it :-)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/UpSyndrome/355947444422753?ref=notif&notif_t=fbpage_fan_invite&sk=wall

Leaked Images of the New Bond Film Skyfall

Nobel Prize Jury Calls Lord Of Rings Poor Writing

What seems like a lack of foresight and expected snobbery on behalf of the Nobel committee, showing awards influence little on the propagation of pieces of work into the world. C.S Lewis made famous by Alice in Wonderland had put up his friend JRR Tolkien for nomination. One Anders Österling, a snobby and bitter literary critic dismissed JRR Tolkien who he judges as having "not in any way measured up to storytelling of the highest quality" I should note he also shunned Robert Frost for being too old. Which is much more outrageous then JRR Tolkiens omission for "poor prose". Who thought you would find ageism with one of the highest awards in literature! Absurd I know! Even in sports such as boxing, men in their late forties have won championships such as everyone's favourite George Foreman. Imagine if they were chastised for being too old. And they took their awards away!

The Ultimate Sport - Chess Boxing